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SORRY I FORGOT D:

2011-01-08T16:33:00.002+08:00

A Is For Army/Apache

2010-07-08T18:57:00.001+08:00

When I first entered BMT, I remembered my senior telling me something along the lines of “Your platoon sergeant is probably someone you wouldn’t want to meet ever again.” I couldn’t really remember what exactly he said because at that time I was a little bit more concerned about the kind of company I would be thrown into and the type of people I would meet. Turned out though, my platoon was a pretty awesome one, and my section was a great bunch to hang out with. So much for those worries.

~ ~ ~

After marching and standing in the sun (sometimes pointlessly) for so long during army, there are several little things I’ve noticed without intentionally noticing, one of them being the uniform. The pixelised pattern is pretty much repeated at the exact same places, so basically you can find two similar uniforms (Like I know there’s this common “e” pixel pattern and that funny pattern that looks like “F1”).
Funny what army does to you.

~ ~ ~

So I POPed today (Okay not really today, coz I wrote this on the night of POP but never got about posting it coz I couldn't find time to upload the pictures on the com.) Not as memorable as all of us thought it would be. The 24 click route march was more eventful than the so called rainy weather program which was a major fail. I think my company’s random singing/drills after the parade ended was more interesting than what was pre-planned. Well my $0.02 worth. Photo taking was fun though.

Award recipients from Apache!

My platoon sergeant

Apache coy, Platoon 3

Apache company. We didn't get to throw our caps so we did our own cap throwing after everything. Heh.

~ ~ ~

So about Platoon Sergeant. Somehow when we first entered, he didn’t exactly seem like the fierce kind. Well at first. After confinement week was a different story though. Though I can confidently say we did learn a lot more than we thought we would from him. Of course to us he will always be that Platoon Sergeant who makes us knock it down constantly; that bugger who loves area cleaning and perfectly black shoes. But at the same time like what another in the company told us, he cares a lot for his platoon and secretly while we’re all cursing him and all, deep down we actually respect him for what he does for us. Most disciplined platoon for sure. My senior got it wrong somehow.

(Whole lot knock it down. Crunches change)

So what do you know. I think it was a good choice not trying to get out of army to canoe. I guess I can always start again once army ends. Looks like the almost two years in uniform wouldn’t be such a waste of time after all. I think it would be a pretty good experience, something out of the blue which I highly doubt I would ever be trying again. I don’t love army, but at the same time I don’t hate it.

Though it’s still a rather strange concept.

Okay I still got some gripes about army though, one of them being the fact that I can't draw or train constantly.

Just a final thought. I've finally realised what chat logs are for. Its to realise things which you never realised back then.

$0.02

2010-06-19T22:44:00.001+08:00

So I was thinking, maybe I should merge my life with my art on tumblr.

After all your art does say alot about what's going on in your life doesn't it?

EDIT: Scrap it. I think I shall keep it this way. Kinda. Funny, I remember having this conversation with myself somehow. Heh

Would you rather get up early or sleep late?

2010-06-19T22:38:00.001+08:00

I'd love to do both (:

Speak now, or forever hold your peace

Who inspires you the most?

2010-06-19T22:37:00.001+08:00

Hmm. Not really a who, but rather a bunch of people from everyday life, be it their character, their determination or some other thing which i feel is inspiring.

Speak now, or forever hold your peace

What's your earliest memory?

2010-06-19T22:34:00.001+08:00

Probably dismantling the toy Ferrari my mom got for me when I was 4 or 5? The car doors were always the easiest to take out. I always wanted to know how my toys looked like inside haha.

Speak now, or forever hold your peace

are u going to uni. which 1

2010-06-19T21:54:00.001+08:00

NUS. But then again I'm thinking overseas because suddenly I'm quite uncertain about my canoeing future. If overseas, i'd probably be UCL

Speak now, or forever hold your peace

I'm Bored! Draw Something For Me! :DDD ~Sorrows

2010-06-05T22:50:00.001+08:00

hahaha when army gives me time. Had outfield alot so not much time to draw. Got some pretty good ideas though!

Speak now, or forever hold your peace

2010-05-30T04:55:00.000+08:00

(500) Days of Summer. Man I love that show.

Okay sleep Brian. Enough of watching movies. Its almost 5.

A.M.

Need. More. Time.

2010-05-28T23:48:00.000+08:00

I need to rewind. Sigh.

Shit.

FREEDOM

2010-05-13T22:10:00.000+08:00

Okay lazy to blog now, but queued up stuff on my art blog which will probably give you an insight on what happens in army. Mainly planes, birds, clouds, counting of days and the female species which Tekong seems to be missing.

Got them queued to release once a day or something so I can pretend to be around in my virtual life while i'm sucking up to the sun and learning to shoot guns in real life (:

But maybe i'll blog here tomorrow. Right now its coffee and movie, Hurt Locker!

Why I Love This Picture...

2010-04-26T03:35:00.002+08:00

...Is probably due to the fact that it reminds me of how I place a lot of my hopes and dreams on massive amounts of faith even in the strangest of places and most difficult of situations. I hope to keep doing more of that in the future.

(Thanks for the pic anyway Abi!)

                                                                         ~ ~ ~
"Nothing is to be gained by a head-in-the-sand avoidance of the facts of life and death. The healthiest solution is to accept that one's span on earth is limited and then to live every day, in the present, to the full. Nostalgia and procrastination have always been, and will always be, the two greatest enemies of a fruitful enjoyable existence on this planet."

-Peoplewatching: the Desmond Morris Guide to Body Language

Yeah this came from a body language book. And yeah, this (in observance of the book's contents) comes from a man who believes we came from apes and live to have sex to pass on our genes. These kind of things amuse me much.

                                                                         ~ ~ ~

So its exactly 12 hours and 59 minutes to army since typing this, and there's this strange thing about army that makes all of us guys feel that its either

a) A jail term of 2 years

b) 2 years of hell

c) A damn waste of time

For me, it kinda like someone snipped off the reel of an awesome movie and replaced it with some weirdass/boring documentary. Well 2 years is pretty long. Come to think of it, its like spending your 19th and 20th running around grass and trees instead of spending it on more productive things like studying in uni/traveling the world/picking up new skills/finding a gf? HAHA. But you probably get what I mean. Like what I always seem to say, its a void of 2 years.

Well hopefully those 2 years would be worth it somehow. I'll be placing a lot of my faith on that as well, most importantly, the decisions I make then, trust me. I bet it'd be pretty memorable somehow.

I hope I don't procrastinate too much though. For certain matters of the heart.

                                                                        ~ ~ ~
"But it is important that, in gaining success, the individuals should not overstress themselves or place themselves in prolonged state of tension. And success must always be measured in personal terms. A hill-shepherd may feel just as successful, in his own way, as a world-famous Nobel Laureate. Success must not be confused with fame."

-Peoplewatching: the Desmond Morris Guide to Body Language

Wisdom in a body language book? Strange.
      ~ ~ ~

So I've had my worst result in a race in 6 years. HAHA. Somehow I'm strangely satisfied (not in the achievement point of view quite obviously though), and perfectly sound despite losing to a teammate 3 years my junior. One thing I learnt though; losing is a humbling yet important experience. NJCC 2008 K1 500m Junior Men, Silver, one of the best lessons I've had in canoeing. And life. By far. It teaches you to appreciate what you've got and at the same time drives you on further, because it is true, too much of something is no longer magical. Besides where is the kick? Heh.

It doesn't teach you not to lose, and swear by winning all the time, but rather how to find your will to go on while shit falls from the sky and while at it, love the chase, because once you get how this works, well, things will just work.

You can't win all the time, but you can try.

Anyway, k2 300m (300m is a damn weird distance I swear) with Qiang was awesome, albeit the lack of training and familiar boat, because for that first 200m of that 300m race, it felt just like my first race in Sec 1, training in heavy rain, and sprinting in the morning just as the sun is breaking through the sky just to be the first to send huge ass ripples through that perfect glass-like water. 3rd was great, but flying out of the starting block felt amazing.

That, is worth spending the last 2 days before army running about on rocky ground and getting burnt in the sun, all while wondering if the water in Bedok is drinkable with its nice blueish greenish colour just before lining up for a race.

                                                                         ~ ~ ~

"It is important to make a distinction between being calmly relaxed and being passively lazy. Relaxation does not imply lack of enthusiasm, nor does it contradict the idea of passionate interest in a person's favorite preoccupations. Indeed, zest for living and an eagerness to pursue one's chosen subjects are vital elements in ensuring a long life. It goes without saying that retirement from such activities is to be avoided at all costs. If a job or occupation has to be given up, then it must be replaced immediately with some new and equally absorbing hobby or task that each day offers an exciting new challenge. Pessimism and cynicism are negative elements; optimism stretches lives."

-Peoplewatching: the Desmond Morris Guide to Body Language

    ~ ~ ~

I can honestly say that I'm glad that I did not get an internship with some architectural firm as I had planned to do after IB, after Hungary. I can also honestly say I am glad I didn't try to enjoy more of my time before army but instead got a job in the kitchens of Fish & Co to try to earn some money.

Working in the kitchen of a rather busy restaurant is an interesting experience. One moment you could be talking with your co-workers while making lemonade and in the next moment, dumping fish after fish into the fryer while downing platter after platter on the grill for that horribly mistimed team/OG/class dinner. Much like real life Diner Dash. The complains are real too.

Well to be honest, when I started work, the first thing I told myself was: 'After going through IB and all that education, what am I doing in the kitchen of Fish & Co. cooking for people when all my classmates are probably interning at law firms or some businesses, working in school and giving tuition, all while earning (probably or highly likely) more pay than me? Must have done something wrong somewhere, I didn't even get an internship like everyone else. Fail at life Brian.' But hey, when you want to get off your butt to do something, your whole body has to follow. (Good to know there are some others in school who work part time with this sort of jobs too! So now I don't feel so left out I guess!)

Quite elitist? Yeah. But don't lie, truth is, we all feel this way. How do you think the acronym NSK came about? In the reality of top schools, we're all secret assholes. Truly.

What I'll probably remember from working part time as a cook is the (strange) satisfaction of earning that (as the law interviewer had put it,'pathetic') pay which you had some awesome shopping plans for, only to realise that you couldn't bear to spend it. Because at that point, you suddenly realise.

Hey, earning money is no easy shit.

A majority of us, before getting a part time job will probably take for granted the allowance our parents give us, forgetting the fact that it does take effort to earn that amount. Its much easier to take than earn, in short. Once starting working in a part time job like this, where work is tough and pay is crap (a friend in Australia LOLed when I told her my pay) you thank your lucky stars your parents forced you to do finish those stacks of maths assessments in Primary school, call up your teachers to make sure you're on task in Secondary school, and in JC, call you repeatedly while you're in Starbucks studying, asking you how you study there, and double checking if you're lying and going out with some girl instead (strange but true). It does help too that by the end of the day, I leave work at 1030 to 1130 PM, head to toe in a film of oil, and smelling of fish, but very much wiser about the real world.

One useful skill I did pick up during this part time job was, well cooking. Before that, my home survival menu consisted of instant pasta and scrambled eggs (I got the recipe from this HTML for beginners book I borrowed. It was some HTML practice; make a page describing the recipe. Well, recipe turned out to be pretty genuine and I guess if it works for geeks, it will work for me.) which wasn't a very reliable source of food to be honest. Instant pasta had to be bought in the first place and depended on whether there was fresh milk in the fridge, and the eggs. Well they get kinda bland after a while. After working part time as a cook in the kitchen for 2 months, I have definitely learnt, as one of my friends had put it, "the most basic skill for surviving overseas." True enough I guess. Well, not confident enough to make staff meals for the more experienced kitchen crew, but good enough to make a nice dinner for my old class the last time we met. It was simple, but I guess its more tasty than scrambled eggs. Tomato based pasta with prawns and sauteed mushrooms. More satisfying than mushroom and herbs flavoured instant pasta. Definitely more useful in the near future/ for certain important events.

Next time, I'm really gonna try that chilli cream pasta. I wanna get it right the second round.

Another thing about working part time in the kitchen is realising that those Chinese foreign workers are actually a pretty fun bunch to hang out with somehow. We talk about random stuff that crops up, get annoyed with customers who are way too particular about food, and laugh at those strange orders that happens once in a while (big - seafood platter for two - without the calamari, without the scallops, no fries, all rice). Before that, they were always this rather foreign (no pun intended) concept of labour, probably comparable to robots. We are all quite unaware sometimes. In real life, they are just like alot of us, with their own dreams, and maybe, even a little more hardworking sometimes (Like how they try to learn English, very unlike the way we attempt to learn Chinese. Though the kind of English vocab they try to get me to teach them sometimes can get a bit amusing; somewhere along the lines of body parts and certain actions/movements).

I remember one of the days while clearing rubbish with one of them (the trash by the way, is freaking heavy. The size is deceiving.). We walked through the upper floors of the shopping center with the bins rolling in hand, past the high class restaurants grocery stores, as well as stores selling leather coated safes (???) and fancy stationary, before reaching the dumpsite where we, after throwing our rubbish, decided to go hide behind the small boarded off area to rest for a bit (Friday nights make awfully busy nights). Well, in the midst of all the random steel bars and scrap wood - the construction materials were kept there somehow - he lit a cigarette, plopped down on a ledge behind a grill facing some busy portion of Orchard Road, and over the sound of car horns and rumbling engines asked me (Not in English of course):

"So. You're done studying?"

"Yeah, waiting for army I guess."

He asks me to guess his age.

"23?"

"Nope, 25."

But then again, I heard from others that he was 23, and another saying he was 26 or so. The other Chinese worker told me he tells guys that he's 25, and girls that he's 23. "Girls love younger guys" he says. I just nod, wondering if he was really 25 or 23, or somewhere in between.

"How old are you?" he asks.

"18. Actually turning 19 this year."

"Mmhmm I see. Then what after army?"

"University."

"So what are you gonna study then? Is it necessary to go to a university?"

Awkwardly staring at the glowing cigarette, while suppressing the urge to wave away the smoke, I replied:

"Architecture I guess, Maybe industrial design? (Futile attempts to explain both subjects in Chinese) I dunno, but everyone here tries to go to a university anyway."

"Oh. I don't really know what to do next time. I know I want to go back to China someday. But I don't know what to do there."

Awkward silence. He looks through the grills and down on the traffic where the car horns continue to sound.

"Singapore is a strange place. Everyone is so busy, its totally different from where I'm from, the lifestyle is kinda slow there. Not as fast as here. You come to work in the morning and next thing you know its night already. Too fast for me."

More awkward silence.

"Hmm. Why not try open a restaurant in China? After all you probably understand how one runs since you work in one now."

He chuckles and looks at me and said:

"Its not easy. Possible but kinda hard I guess. There is corruption too, you know those officials there... Ah, hopefully I can figure out something."

He tosses the cigarette on the floor and rubs it out with his foot, blankly staring at the odd black mark it makes on the concrete.

"Alright lets get back now. I think they would be done washing the floor by then."

He gives this tired smile and gets up.

And at this point I told myself. We are some lucky fuckers. We just don't know how lucky sometimes.

On my last week of work, he was sitting on the pipes on one corner, next to the chillers with this blank look on his face again. I asked him if he was alright and he gave a sigh, looked at me and said:

"I have cooked everything here before, its always the same. It gets really boring you know."

The sound of printing, and a new order comes in.

                                                               ~ ~ ~

"Longing for the future and nostalgia for the past are the two great enemies of a rewarding life. A careful study of the most successful members of society soon reveals that they have broken all traditional age rules. They have done things when they wanted to do them and have ignored any imagined limitations of time. They have succeeded early or triumphed late, lived short busy lives or long happy ones. The lesson they teach us is to eat life up greedily, never to procrastinate and never to think that it is too late."

-Peoplewatching: the Desmond Morris Guide to Body Language

Its kinda funny how scientific studies do bring out some pretty useful guides to life. I always thought science was just about technical details and facts, very much like a machine with well fitted and smooth running cogs. Except I didn't know that this machine is what makes planes fly.
     ~ ~ ~

So its past 3AM now and I should be packing my bag for army tomorrow, but I guess I shall finish up this post first. This is probably the post which I have put the most thought into by far, and in good time I guess. Well like someone just told me, its like we army guys are going to jail or something (Yeah there are people who don't need sleep like me too), but I do hope there's more to army than just comparisons to jail (Come to think of it, a few years back, I would be like 'What army?') Since I'm stuck in what seems to be the inevitable, I might as well just give my best into it. No point in between. Its either or. But of course, SEA games is still that new huge as target in my sight for the next few years, and hopefully, I can do more than just take part in it. There will be uni then, definitely too, and hopefully art opportunities for me, not to mention other things in life that needs to be settled. Wow.

If it looks impossible, I guess we can have some fun trying to make it possible. Done it once, I'm sure we can try again.

10 hours 12 minutes to army at this point. Time to get some sleep, and maybe get up just in time for Macdonald's hotcakes.

Oh yes and after reading that body language book; Women, when squeezing past someone, especially men, will always face her back to the person. Men on the other hand, do otherwise. It amused me when I figured out it really was true.

Songs

2010-04-22T02:36:00.001+08:00

Something I found on tumblr which I am bored enough to do:

Day 01 - Your favourite song:
Drops of Jupiter by Train (So awesome, I wish I wrote this song)

Day 02 - Your least favorite song:
(*Fin) by Anberlin (This song for some reason, keeps appearing on my mp3's shuffle every single time after the very first song I play. Pisses me off I swear. It's a weird history for me hating that song, but yeah.)

Day 03 - A song that makes you happy
All I Want Is You by Barry Louis Polisar (From the Juno soundtrack!)

Day 04 - A song that makes you sad
Keep Breathing by Ingrid Michaelson (Sad but at the same time true. Another would be World Spins Madly On by The Weepies)

Day 05 - A song that reminds you of someone
The Girl by City & Colour

Day 06 - A song that reminds of you of somewhere
Free Fallin' by John Mayer (Was learning to play it in Hungary)

Day 07 - A song that reminds you of a certain event
Accidentally In Love by Counting Crows (Well we all have first dates!)

Day 08 - A song that you know all the words to
Drops of Jupiter by Train (Haha by default. But the first song ever if I can remember clearly? I'm Still Here by John Rzeznik)

Day 09 - A song that you can dance to
Great DJ by The Ting Tings (I can't dance for shit. But if you're gonna make/force me dance, please play something with a nice bass? So I guess this one would do. But please don't try (: )

Day 10 - A song that makes you fall asleep
Coffee by Copeland (The irony, I kid you not.)

Day 11 - A song from your favorite band
Ocean Avenue by Yellowcard (I got a few favourite bands, but this one then, since its the first song I loved. I remember when it first came up on the portable radio I was listening to when I was reading Harry Potter And The Goblet Of Fire; Never turned back from music since then. Back when I was 12 or 13. Haha. I know Unwell by Matchbox 20 and Bring Me To Life by Evanescence were hits back then. Better than alot of the half assed stuff on the radio these days.)

But from my favourite band of all? I guess Different Names For The Same Thing by Death Cab For Cutie.

But if John Mayer was a band, 3x5

Day 12 - A song from a band you hate
I Hate This Song by Secondhand Serenade (First they were okay. Then they got so damn annoying. The song is for irony)

Day 13 - A song that is a guilty pleasure
Bad Romance by Lady GaGa (She's like a freaking nutcase, but damn. This song is pretty good to be honest)

Day 14 - A song that no one would expect you to love
Don't Forget by Demi Lovato (Yes. It's Disney. Yes. I think its a good song)

Day 15 - A song that describes you
Why Georgia by John Mayer (Then at the moment? Crazy For This Girl by Evan & Jaron, The Only Exception by Paramore, Hey Jude by The Beatles? But then again I can't really decide )

Day 16 - A song that you used to love but now hate
I'm Yours by Jason Mraz (Too much good is bad. Instant skip now. There's another too, I Miss You by Incubus)

Day 17 - A song that you hear often on the radio
Tik Tok by Ke$ha (What's with that weirdass $ sign in the name? And some other rap/RnB/Lady GaGa stuff. I feel that the stuff on radio is crap these days)

Day 18 - A song that you wish you heard on the radio
Brighter by Paramore (The first time I heard this song, I thought, "Damn this deserves airtime on the radio")

Day 19 - A song from your favorite album
No Such Thing by John Mayer from Room For Squares ("I'd like to think the best of me, is still hiding up my sleeve")

Day 20 - A song that you listen to when you’re angry
Pain by Jimmy Eat World (Rage +10. I love this song during competitions. Followed by Pleased To Meet You by Wolfmother, Reptilia by The Strokes)

Day 21 - A song that you listen to when you’re happy
Semi-Charmed Life by Third Eye Blind

Day 22 - A song that you listen to when you’re sad
Help Yourself by Sad Brad Smith (Or Keep Breathing by Ingrid Michaelson, but I used this song already.)

Day 23 - A song that you want to play at your wedding
You And Me (Wedding Version) by Lifehouse (So I'm unoriginal. But so what? This song is sums everything up. Its practically perfect. Especially the instrumental part, its awesome.

I would like to sing this to that girl on my wedding day, whoever she is.

Lol. Brian wtf. Lol. Seriously.

I can't believe I said this online )

Day 24 - A song that you want to play at your funeral
The Heart Of Life by John Mayer (I love this song somehow. Its full of meaning. Another would be To Build A Home by The Cinematic Orchestra)

Day 25 - A song that makes you laugh
10,000 Motherfuckers by Jason Mraz (Okay never heard the song before, but the title makes me chuckle)

Day 26 - A song that you can play on an instrument
You and Me by Lifehouse (The only song I can sing decently, play well, and most importantly, remember the chords on the guitar)

Day 27 - A song that you wish you could play
Stop This Train by John Mayer (Damnit John Mayer, how the hell do you have your thumb at 3 on the low E string and pinky at 7 on the High E string? And such a good song.)

Day 28 - A song that makes you feel guilty
Us by Regina Spektor

Day 29 - A song from your childhood
Breathless by The Corrs (It played on Central alot! The other song I would have picked would be I'm Still Here by John Rezeznik, but I already used it. When I was a kid, I LOVED Treasure Planet. HAHA)

Day 30 - Your favorite song at this time last year
High And Dry by Radiohead

Forget the days, I was bored. Well. This took longer than I thought! Goodnight!

why do you use a pink boat =)

2010-04-21T22:36:00.001+08:00

Because there are no other boats to use! I needed a Nelo to learn how to adapt to and Margy's one was the only one around which could be borrowed the most often. And it has a nice comfy footrest. And racing people in a pink boat amuses me.

And I think pink is hot.

Not.

Ask me anything

Do you ever think about St Mike's and SJI days, and wonder where you would be now if you didn't leave SJI?

2010-04-21T21:31:00.001+08:00

Haha yeah I do think of that, but I'll never know what would happen if I didn't transfer to ACSI.

What I do know is SJI helped me discover my love for art and canoeing and ACSI helped to develop it.

Ask me anything

What was the best advice you've ever received?

2010-04-21T15:57:00.001+08:00

"So who is that guy? Do you know who he is? Have you raced him before?"

"No?"

"Then why are you scared! Just go there and race, don't think so much!"

If memory serves me right, it went something like that. This was something my old canoeing coach told me. He's coaching Greece now, if I'm not wrong.

Surprisingly, it applies to alot of random obstacles in life. I've got alot of good advice, but I guess this one was one which made alot of difference somehow.

Ask me anything

Just Before Sleeping;

2010-04-20T00:58:00.000+08:00

In a moment of random thought, I realised my desk now looks like how my old workspace in the art gallery looked like. And I love it :)

formspring.me

2010-04-16T23:59:00.001+08:00

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/BetterPaperUser

12 Days To Army. No Wait. 11 Days.

2010-04-15T03:22:00.001+08:00

Either I'm counting down to army because I'm bored of my current lifestyle or because I'd rather get it over and done with pretty soon. Pretty much sums up this (pseudo?) enthusiasm all of a sudden.

So I still haven't gotten any good photos lately, but i do have a video i made for the SUTD application, but apparently looks like its not gonna end up in the application (Since application is already submitted and all and the interviewer told me that i should have just submitted my stop motion video which i made for art last year)

That photo comes from one of the stills in the stop motion. Its some paper model house which I made to match the part which i was to explain why i wanted to take architecture. One thing to note though: Just because something works out fine in your head doesn't mean that its gonna work out fine out there in real life. (Should have used card paper, it was flimsy like hell. Heh)

Looks like the stop motion could end up as a bit of entertainment in the end! Just need to fill in the some dialogue. Will post it up soon for fun. Or else all my efforts would have been wasted.

3:00 a.m now, I must really hate sleep these days. Probably explains why I'm typing in a strange manner now.

So lately I've been thinking. What if getting everything you wanted and aimed for, only to realise you've got no one to share it with? I dunno, its a pretty random thought.

But its true. I don't want to be so caught up with my passions and all that i just. Well, forget. About family, friends, things i used to believe in. Maybe things i still believe in.

Maybe i'm tired, but I think my thoughts look very clumsy in words at the moment. Okay surrendering to sleep now. Shall figure what i'm thinking in the morning.

Edit: OH YEAH. I cooked pasta for class dinner today. HAHA. It still amuses me somehow. Okay sleep.

formspring.me

2010-04-14T00:22:00.001+08:00

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/BetterPaperUser

Interlude

2010-04-03T17:34:00.000+08:00

Well if that made my day. I definitely hope it would happen more often. I could do with alot more little make-my-days.

Okay haven't been updating the blogger for a bit, because lately I've been busy with some video making thingy for some uni application, but the other blog is still very quite alive!

Sometimes I do wonder why on earth do I need 2 blogs for, one for art and one for life when I can throw everything together.

And then I realised; Its the perfectionist instinct kicking in. Things that can be sorted shall be sorted.

My First Piece Of Digital Art! (Okay Actually Second, But Technically, I Started On This First.)

2010-03-23T23:53:00.004+08:00

Summer Skin by ~briankhoo on deviant ART

Finally finished colouring in the picture of the girl i posted a few days ago! Need to work more on my sketchings of humans though. The face is pretty off, I think probably because of the nose and the eyes, which are missing some contours, especially near the nose bridge; something is wrong, but still can't really figure that out. But ohwell, I guess its okay for a first try! Stuff with faces always seem tricky in some way. Gonna try other angles soon. Other than that, I could do alot more work with highlights and shadows; since I referenced quite a bit, this one should be fine, but its a different story if I didn't.

Man this feels alot like those IB art days. Thinking of another project to do now since this one is done, while at the same time trying to figure out if doing those crosshatching sketches will work on digital, because somehow, i think they seem to work alot better on real life paper.

Somehow drawing the female seems more fun though. Something with the hair and eyes i guess.

~ ~ ~
Other than that, I've been thinking about army lately and the consequences of such a necessary void of 2 years. Well I guess I gotta admit that paddling would be rather impossible during that period of time, so its OCS on my sights then! And hopefully somehow God will help me figure out something some way or another because I've decided. I want to go to SEA games at least once before I quit and if its possible, try to win something then. Of course after army would be another problem with unis, considering the fact that architecture is gonna be a real time-sucker (from what i've heard) and I have no idea whether paddling is even viable then. And then again which one to sacrifice time for?

(Actually don't think to far Brian, you aren't even confirmed in architecture yet. So take things slow, one by one, leave tomorrow's worries for tomorrow.)

But i could use more hours in a day though. So much i want to do.

EDIT: That deviantart thing looks terrible though. Lol

I ♥ My Wacom

2010-03-20T13:55:00.002+08:00

I shall make up my lack of photos with sketches!

So lately I blew a huge amount of money (it was immensely painful) on a wacom tablet during the IT fair. Been wanting to try out digital art for sometime now, and a mouse just won't cut it (hand cramps, awful grip and shaky lines). Happened that just at that right moment, there was the IT fair the very next day! But no regrets anyhow; this thing is awesome, just need to get used to the difference between scratching plastic on plastic as compared to graphite on paper. Well here's the full sized project I've been doing on the tablet lately:

Decided to start something with humans, something I've never really considered doing during art lessons, partly due to the fact that humans are awfully hard to draw, one slight mistake and they look like aliens. Hopefully i'll start improving with time, before i get stuck in army ): Did a lot of referencing from this art booklet which came with the tablet (mostly from this guy called Artgerm on deviantart, a.k.a Stanley Lau. He has some really jaw-dropping stuff on his portfolio.) because i'm noob like hell with perspective for faces and such. Probably explains why mine looks almost like one of his pieces (Pepperbreeze) Shall think of some way to make it more of my own soon I guess!

Well i say money well spent. Digital art is gonna keep me entertained for a really long time.

(Makes me wanna screw architecture and take up graphic design and become a freelancer or game designer)

Indecisive. Bleh.

So What I Have Been Up To Lately...

2010-03-10T23:46:00.000+08:00

Yeah, I kinda have disappeared from my blog for long periods of time, but I do have good reasons for that!

1) I have been frying fish at night.

Seriously guys. Partly why i couldn't wake up for training (For two days in a row, because I was too tired to set alarm on Monday, and too tired to wake up on Tuesday. What a massive fail Brian.) I'm working at Fish & Co. @ Ion as cook. So drop by, say hi, and please don't order swordfish collar. Its quite a pain to cook. Especially during rush hours.

Anyway, why not blog in the afternoon then?

2) Because I have been sleeping.

Surprise, surprise. Because training in the morning is tiring. Work at night is tiring too. Work + Training = Damn tiring. (At the same time, I guess its a vicious cycle which causes me to miss my alarms)

If so, then what about free times?

3) I have been drawing more!

Yup, tried joining some t-shirt design competition. Okay, it didn't take up so much time, but all the photoshop crashing did. (Note to self: Save before doing some memory intensive stuff on photoshop. Your laptop isn't very new and up to date) Okay I have been playing a little more com than usual too, probably thats why. Okay a lot, not a little. League of Legends and L4D is fun.

Ohwell gotta start taking more photos too. Camera has been stagnant for a while now. Somehow, I can't wait for NS to come. Early seems a lot more better than delayed. And damnit! Iron Man 2 comes out during BMT. Sigh

Speaking of movies, Up In The Air was awesome stuff. Sadly they it didn't win anything during the academy awards. Man, I definitely say one of the best movie's I watched by far; great message behind it as well as acting.

On the other hand though, Alice In Wonderland sucked.

Okay, sleep. Or I might miss another alarm.

Expectations vs Reality

2010-03-03T16:30:00.000+08:00

500 days of Summer - Expectations vs Reality from G. on Vimeo.

You know, usually I don't post stuff from others, but when I do, its probably something. (BTW, I love this movie) Don't know if You still visit, but happy belated birthday. Sorry for not wishing you in any other way, because I don't want to know that you won't reply, but now that i realised, i guess i'll never know anyhow
because sometimes expectations don't always align with reality. Best of luck with life. See yer.

2010-02-16T23:46:00.001+08:00

"When faced with two choices, simply toss a coin. It works not because it settles the question for you, but because, in that brief moment when the coin is in the air, you suddenly know what you are hoping for." [Minimal]

I Chose Flight

2010-02-12T21:19:00.001+08:00

Okay, Airshow pics finally up (Sorry for the lag Zi Yang, I got lazy ><) Haha.

Airshow was pretty good I guess, but arial performance was pretty crappy in my opinion. I thought there would be something more exciting, or multiple planes at least but ohwell! At least i managed to get some pretty good pictures anyway.

Definitely one of my fav shots. Pity they keep showing the bottom to the audience for who knows what reason.

Likewise here. There's something i really like about planes though; the way a whole chunk of metal can actually stay up in the air and at the same time give you such an awesome view. (Well i did try for pilots for NS, but fail luh. Water is still my element i guess! Suits me perfectly fine.) Damn, i love window seats on airplane flights. That's why i enjoy holidays: the flight, the holiday, the flight back, and yeah, the transits.

(On second thought. They really look like toys up there.)

There's something about transits which i enjoy somehow. (I know people hate it sometimes but i love it somehow) It always feels as though time freezes when you're in transit. Not like time freezing, but pseudo time freezing i guess. I think its because of the different timezones in different countries; like it was day in your country when you left, and while transiting, its still day, even after hours on the plane.

Whatever the case, its something a bit hard to explain, but transits somehow give me time to think. Just grab a latte/frappe/macchiato/whatever they have at Starbucks or something and sit around and think about life and whatever random thoughts come to mind while drawing some random pictures/reading some random book. Its really peaceful somehow; you're sitting around sipping coffee with your mind in deep thought while doing what you feel like doing. All while everyone seems to be rushing about for the next flight/last minute gifts/food/toilet. Makes it feel like you're in control of your own time and target.

Hell, you'll look like someone jet lagged/stoned/drugged out on sleeping pills and desperate for coffee to keep awake/finish up some assignment or book while thinking.

But hey, having the feeling that you have time on a leash feels amazingly calming somehow. You don't really get that everyday.

Okay, i'm back. I've stopped digressing. Too bad transits don't come everyday.

Love this few shots too. Going, going, gone. A lot like some things in life.

The grounded stuff seemed more impressive though. Somehow they planes always look just average when you're sitting at the terminal gate, but up close they're really much more stunning.

Speaking of which,

Chrome, when used sparingly and properly makes things a heck lot more beautiful. (Sorry for all those close ups, i think its much nicer that way somehow. Most of my full view shots had too many random people about ><)

(Okay luh, after the 4th one, its probably like unhealthy obsession. Probably explains why I sprayed a chrome coloured pattern on my paddle. Sadly the chrome isn't as shiny and reflective. Can't see the clouds on them. Just blurry stuff )

(I feel damn cheated. lol)

(I thought i'd look something like that)

(Or at least something shinier like this)

Australian airlines, military style.

Rare helicopter take off right in front of us!

(I just realised this looks like some photo they use in those RSAF advertisments. Heh)

Well that's all i guess. (Actually got quite a lot of shots, but most look like crap, or looked awesome then, but terrible on the com)

Thanks for the free tickets Zi Yang!

So lately, nothing much to do, and i can honestly say its getting pretty darn boring waiting for army sometimes. A real pain in my opinion. I think it would have been a better idea to get it done all in one shot. Well, but at least gonna get driving lessons soon i guess, and Chinese New Year coming up (together with Valentine's Day, but not much to bother about that this year). Hopefully it would make life alot more exciting.

I could do with something to look forward to.

I should start drawing more. MORE.

EDIT: (I need a new blogskin. Medium size doesn't do those pictures justice. Need more space!)

I Just Had An Afterthought

2010-02-09T17:22:00.002+08:00

Actually. Nevermind about it.

Okay Brian, do something more productive with your time!

(Note to self: Upload Airshow pictures later. After editing.)

It's Been...

2010-01-26T12:59:00.000+08:00

...Months since i last posted (Bad lag due to the month long trip to Hungary and all the applications to places and all the distractions which come along with the discovery of free time ever since the end of school and JC life).

Hungary turned out pretty well! Going there definitely helped both training wise and for experience. Teaches you alot how to fight. And here's a bunch of photos! Could have taken more though, but training most of the time makes it hard to carry the camera around and sometimes you'll be too dead tired to do anything else.

Pictures (Possibly) in order. This are the better ones i think. Because Flickr has its 100mb limit. ):

On the way to Vac from the airport. I love this shot so i shall make it damn big. Almost like flying.

Considering the fact that i've not updated since Hungary, looks like i've missed out Christmas and New Year posts. Ouch. (Laziness is getting back into your bonessss).

Part of Vac. Its a quiet little place there, with nice people and all. Hot wine and Milka chocolates! I miss the food there. Nevermind, unrelated with photo.

Love the streets there too. They are nice and have this aura of coziness. And they got those old cars too! (I know Lada sucks but i think they look nice somehow)

And here's how the city hall looks like. Old-ish but really beautiful somehow. The white building there is the church, but sadly couldn't get a proper shot of the inside because of my loud shutter and terrible handling of lighting D: The interior is jaw dropping, i swear.

A pretty flower in a vase. At the restaurant where we had our meals in almost everyday. Its a warm little restaurant in some underground cellar (or bunker?) which had brick walls like castles and dim yellow lights. And the food was damn good. Haha.

Coach's bro was nice enough to give us a tour of their local fire station which he works in. He has two cute daughters too.

And no. one is a few months old? (I think) And the other is 3 years old.

Of course alot of time to explore, for example the many playgrounds all over the place. They got awesome swings. (Okay luh, ordinary swings, but Singapore seems to be lacking those so whatever :P)

Oh oh, and we went cross country skiing too! But i don't have photos of those. I make a lousy photographer sometimes.

And of course, coach's very fat dog, Pocak. He's damn smart though. Coach says all he does is eat, sleep and play, which is why he is so fat. So he got to climb up the mountain with us. (I've got mountain pics though! Which i will spam in the next few posts. Or next month. When my Flickr account quota is reset.

And at the local train station in Vac. We didn't always train. We had sightseeing too...

...to Budapest! I love this shot too. Budapest is a nice sort of place, with some really awesome architecture too. They have their version of Singapore's open air market too, where they sell a whole assortment of stuff, from food and paprika to toys and cutlery. Except their ones aren't too open, but in a enclosed shopping centre like place due to the seasonal weathers.

Here's an edited version. Like one of Suzie's strange pictures with words.

Shoot all the panorama's seem better big, so click them!

The Parliament house here

The view from the same place. It was chilly there.

And one of the statues there with the bright blue sky

And some random awesome graffiti on the way up!

We also went trekking on the free days where we couldn't ski at first because of the lack of snow at times

The view from the castle at the top of a huge mountain/hill

Hero Square, before we went to the mass hot bath over there in Budapest, which was awesome anyhow. Its like a massive relaxing pool with hot water in the open. During a chilly winter night. Too bad Singapore doesn't have one of those. Haha.

And of course, I miss the snow. Pity Singapore doesn't have seasons. Heh.

Well better (very) late than never. I guess i could start thinking of month-after-new-year resolutions at the moment too.

So this is how it goes,
Well I.
I would have never known

2009 has been a pretty strange year both good and bad i guess. Actually now, thinking about it, JC years seem to be the ones which teach you the most. And i'm beginning to feel that with the older you get, the more you learn, doesn't seem to make things alot easier in certain ways. Sometimes i get this feeling that there were some things which i could have done better, more different, in JC, but when i think about it again, maybe its those things which i've learnt alot more from than anything else.

That day i went back to school to chat a bit with the teachers since swimming training at NUS was pretty nearby (Yes, there is swimming training for canoeing now. The Past seems to have a sense of humor.). Walking into school was much more nostalgic than i had imagined. For the first time, it wasn't the kind of feeling you get when walking into school every morning during the past 2 years; the kind where you walk in with a sense that there's a day's work to be completed, there's a favourite lesson you're looking forward to (Art!), there's a terrible training after school when you're dead tired, but you still go do it anyway because its something you must do (Well some of it you don't want to do of course). Instead it feels like you've done all that; there's no sense of rush or dread of deadlines, but at the same time, it makes you feel kinda empty. The kind of feeling you get when suddenly you realise, you have no more guide-to-life school schedule, no more aims, particularly one which i like, quoting Aiman on facebook:

"i miss the days when NS meant National Schools"

which is part of the reason why i decided (with a slight loss of common sense) to join the 36km Singapore Canoe Marathon just a few days after Hungary. At least its something to make me work for.

While sitting about in the art room and admiring the pieces of the current batch of year 6s and at the same time watching them rush around (A few of them asking me for wisdom and guidance which was rather awkward, considering that there's alot of things in art which i still wonder how i managed to get done), it took me some time to finally come to the conclusion that i'm gonna miss school. ALOT.

No more sleeping over in school for art

Last minute rushing with art buddies too,

Cycling the corridors at night,

Looking for the right moment to talk to certain people,

Drawing in lessons (I think my most creative ideas were inspired by those rather humdrum lectures and lessons of certain subjects)

Prata in school (Food will always be an integral part of school life. In all walks of life actually)

Free periods (Though i got alot of free time now, i think free time is sweeter when you don't get it so often)

Training for National Schools (In my opinion, the most nerve wrecking and important of all competitions in my school life)

Sitting around the pond bitching about life.

etc etc.

Haha I miss school basically. Freaking nostalgic post.

So back to the past. I guess i learnt alot. (Probably in order?)

Not to love, then look for what you want, but rather the other way round; maybe i'm wrong but who knows? I'm still learning though.

Stones taught me to fly
Love taught to me lie

To think before speaking, not speak before thinking, because words aren't forgotten easily.

Not to be overconfident with what you have, but with enough confidence to know that you have it. To be satisfied with what you've got, instead of being jealous with what you don't.

Probably the hardest was learning when its time to let go, and then again, fighting for what you don't want to lose. And again, learning not to keep just because its there.

I learnt not to hate without knowing, because people are alot different from what others portray them to be. And at the same time finding people you can rely on when the going gets tough.

Strangely, its not the experience in doing art which taught me quite a bit, but the experience which comes with doing art; learning not to shy away, have confidence and courage to do the unexpected, because sometimes the random shit like this can turn out pretty good.

Enjoying what you do, because it makes a difference with how you do it; along the way learning that hard work pays and its not too late to try.

Probably after all those up and downs, realising that Adidas might actually be right somehow

:D

2010-01-06T14:46:00.000+08:00

:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

Late Happy New Year everyone!

Free Fallin'

2009-12-15T22:22:00.001+08:00

Since i'm going off to Hungary tomorrow and won't be back till after Christmas, New Year, and results day, I shall post a photo today too since i haven't been posting anything other than drawings which i have been doing in the past.

Reminds me a lot about Left 4 Dead 2. Okay i've never really been a gamer. Like someone in canoeing said today, "I'd never thought of it coming from you (When i said lets go lan and play l4d2)." But its a nice game. releases stress.

Anyway ever felt like you've self destructed before? Well i guess this is one of those times. More accurately, this is the one time it has ever happened and got me really bad.

Okay forget this whole paragraph which i typed and deleted.

I'm indecisive, that's all. I hope this holiday/training camp in Hungary solves something. ~~If i die in the mountains or something, at least solve something before that.~~

Screw that

Anyway be right back guys. In a month. I can honestly say i would regret not going for results day after much deliberation. Its one of those moments you get once in a lifetime. Alright i'm a little cranky today i admit. Not the best time to type anything. Merry Christmas, happy holidays, happy new year and all the best for IB results day people. It's early and i may blog in Hungary, but what the heck.

Heh.

I hope something goes right before the new year.

Anyway something from 2007:

Questions With No Answers

I Hear The Jingle Of Bells In The Near Future, I Think

2009-12-13T17:57:00.000+08:00

I just realised today, that it has been 3 years or so since my family last set up a Christmas tree. Its kinda funny how it didn't struck me till yesterday that we kinda lack the Christmas spirit at home. We haven't really got any decorations put up, let alone minor little things like the stocking or the Christmas angel hanging around in the house. Its kinda strange how the house seems so bare of any festive mood as compared to my friend's house, where there are Christmas decorations hanging from every end of the house.

We need a major makeover.

Actually its the kind of expected outcome i guess, considering how we hardly ever get Christmas presents for each other ( D: Yes terrible D:) and as a kid, Christmas equates to asking your parents to get a certain something you want, instead of the actual hinting of what you want and hoping your parents would guess and get you just that. Honestly, I like that randomness alot more, as compared to having a list of wants which you would be pretty certain of getting. Come to think of it, I really don't know what i want for Christmas this time round. Okay maybe i do, but its a little more of the intangible sort of thing. On the side note, I need a new sketchbook, preferably something with more drawing space and can handle watercolour. So come on mom and dad, if you have found out about this blog through sis or stalking me on facebook, get your kids something different! Something pretty much out of the blue. Not something we tell you we want, but rather something you think we want, or guess we want. It makes giving alot more fun and alot more exciting.

I don't really like knowing that i've gotten what i ask for sometimes, because for the past few years, i realised that it doesn't seem so special anymore.

Which is also why i love handmade stuff, even if its a little note or drawing of sorts. Its the sort of thing that can't really be reproduced or easily found, because something handmade takes more than just a couple of minutes to decide. It's not like you can easily pick it off the shelves or something, and considering time is limited, handmade stuff sure is a lot more special somehow. Same for surprises. I actually keep those receipts and candles from birthday lunches or dinners. Heh.

So maybe this time round i shall start by getting my family a late Christmas present from Hungary (Since i won't be around till 12th Jan. I'll be missing the IB results. After much thinking, that sucks. I prefer facing my fears sometimes.). Maybe start getting for others too. I guess it has to start somewhere eh?

Anyway, today i found another random drawing while clearing the mess of a shelf i have above my laptop. Some sketch i did during a Chinese B exam. Funny things.

Float Like A Cannonball

The post about it is on Tumblr, link in orange above!

Blood And Sweat

2009-12-11T23:17:00.002+08:00

Black & White

Bugger, my knee injury is back. And i think i lost my specs. Haha this sucks.

(Anyway, why is it so hard to put a tag cloud in Tumblr?)

Hungary in a few days! Need to buy your winter wear so you won't freeze in the mountains! And driving! And library books! Pffttt, things need to be done Brian!

Bloop Bloop Bloop

2009-12-08T11:32:00.001+08:00

Fish Bag

Some paper bag i decorated for angel and mortal during church camp.
Lately time has been passing really fast. Eh.

I Can Haz Physicz

2009-12-07T23:12:00.002+08:00

Today, while jumping down the stairs, dad told me that i shouldn't coz the weight on the stairs could be up to 10 times more. Immediately i said to myself, F = ma; W = mg

Haha. Good times. Funny how you miss hell when its gone.

Something's Better, On The Other Side

2009-12-06T21:57:00.001+08:00

BACK FROM CHURCH CAMP!

Anyway camp was pretty good. All about community and support for one another. We had really few J2s about, so they mixed us all up with the p6s to J1s and grouped us together. Turned out I got a really quiet group, but in the end it worked out pretty fine! Especially for the activities like the all-about-the-place-race (Sorry can't really remember the name of the funny race. Jumban-something. Heh). We ditched a majority of the games station to get position points and it paid off i guess! We got 3rd, which was really unexpected but the best part was we finally got to open up and communicate really well. First time i had to lead a group all the way too. Not too bad, but I could probably try to open my mouth a bit more or something. Haha. Too quiet sometimes i swear. Too quiet Brian, too quiet.

I need guts to do crazy stuff, but then again. Dilemma. (Anyway, if we get to plan a church camp next year, can i design the shirt? :D)

Lately haven't been taking many photographs, sigh. But nevermind! I shall try to make it up with more drawings and stuff! Got alot of things to think about too. Like whether i should keep canoeing during NS. After NS. Part time job (Priorities really makes things difficult sometimes. Haha). Then there's still getting my ass down to Ubi to sign up for driving. And making sure i got the stuff i need for the trip to Hungary. And as always, there's life. And love and why.

Switchfoot. Nevermind, random stuff like this enters my mind sometimes.

Back to html! Need to renew library book soon though.

Anyway;

Arrows & Flowers

(I'm just a little bit caught in the middle, life is a maze and love is a riddle, la la la-la-la, la la, la-la-la, lala lala la.)

I wanna play l4d2.

Church Camp Tomorrow! Be RIght Back To Post More Soon!

2009-12-02T22:04:00.002+08:00

DRAWINGS!

Topsy Turvy

2009-12-01T20:31:00.000+08:00

Ah damn tiring day. Must have really drained myself out during training. Or maybe its just all in the head. Currently, the free time after the end of school haven't been too memorable, its mostly finding stuff to do to keep myself entertained. But even then, after a while it gets really really repetitive.

Can't wait for church camp and Hungary though. hopefully it would free things up a bit more. Sorry if i have been rather moody in some ways lately, kinda thinking about alot of things since there's no more IB and school work to distract myself.

Things to do ~~this holidays~~ with your free time. I just realised, it isn't really a holiday since we're kinda out of school. Its like limbo between school and real life. Like at the gates of Eden and the world out there, except Eden is school and while walking out, this one has this huge billboard sign with bright spotlights illuminating it saying "Welcome to the Real World"

"She said to me, condescendingly, take a seat, take your life, plot it out in black and white"

You know, i think i can get an inkling of what Adam and Eve felt like while they were being barred from Eden, except this one doesn't involve pissing off God or introducing all the burdens of mankind. Yeah, not that big an issue, other than the environment change and the real issue of cash and figuring out what you want to do next time. Suddenly, IB results seem to add to the anxieties; so much for worry on the day itself.

Anyway. Things to do (My digression is strange):

Learn figure drawing
Take more photographs. (Actually will get a chance in Hungary. Or maybe i should take a walk along the highway again.)
Learn programming (HTML, CSS, C++, Phython, etc; Hell I don't know where to start so picking up a how-to book which shouts out "FOR NOOBS!" shall make my decision. HTML, XHTML and CSS it is then)
Draw more (Yeah, its a different idea from figure drawing)
Level up guitar skills
Driving, Brian, driving (Get your ass to the nearest driving center to the house)
Get a part time job for January till enlistment. Or internship.

Any recommendations for No. 6 is good info; suggestions or links?

Other than that; on the other blog:

Ice

I think the notebook scans are more interesting. Gonna switch back to that soon, after i clear up all the lost drawings of yesteryear's.

Nightfall

2009-11-30T14:40:00.001+08:00

Nightfall (Click for Tumblr post on this drawing)

I Could Use Somebody

2009-11-29T21:21:00.005+08:00

Lately i've discovered the rather intriguing activity of rummaging through old storage boxes to find old drawings of mine and other little bits and pieces of the past.

Heh strange things IB afterlife does to you.

Found loads of old stuff, back since primary 1! Those were the times of jotter books with huge writing space between lines and a blank page on the left for drawing pictures (because creativity and scribblings were more abundant back then!). Found loads of old birthday cards too, and the farewell card my SJI class gave to me before i left for ACS(I) in sec 1. The smell of old paper is really nice in a way; brings back loads of memories. Hopefully i can find more drawings, especially that drawing of the tree in blue-black and orange which got me started on pen work. I remember i drew that in the school diary in sec 1 just after the page where you write your details and personal information. The past is a rather strange thing. Sometimes i seem to remember it so clearly as though it was yesterday. Kinda scary how fast time flies too. Anyway, gonna raid the top of the cupboard tomorrow! I think there is kindergarten stuff up there to be found!

Anyway, scans of the drawings i've found on the other blog on Tumblr! I set that up coz i kinda wanna have a proper organisation of my art stuff online. My blogger is getting really messy and the tags seem to be everywhere.

Heart Of Fire(Click for Tumblr post on this drawing)

I say, its getting quite lonely, more so when school is over.

EDIT:
A pretty nice poem.

XIII. "When I was one-and-twenty..."
by A.E. Housman

When I was one-and-twenty
I heard a wise man say,
'Give crowns and pounds and guineas
But not your heart away;
Give pearls away and rubies
But keep your fancy free.'
But I was one-and-twenty,
No use to talk to me.

When I was one-and-twenty
I heard him say again,
'The heart out of the bosom
Was never given in vain;
'Tis paid with sighs a plenty
And sold for endless rue.'
And I am two-and-twenty,
And oh, 'tis true, 'tis true.

Page 1

2009-11-28T23:45:00.012+08:00

Flowers & Squares (Click for Tumblr post on this drawing)

Yawn

2009-11-26T16:41:00.004+08:00

Well! Since i still got my tumblr account, i guess i shall use it as a site to store my drawings then! Which means i've got something to do over the long break before NS. heh

http://better-use-of-paper.tumblr.com/

My Oh My

2009-11-25T23:04:00.002+08:00

She acts like summer and walks like rain,
reminds me that there's time to change.

You know, after prom, i've come to realise the importance of having a point and shoot, as well as how in the last moments of it, we try to capture everything we can just to experience it one more time. Don't hate because you failed, but learn from what went wrong.

Don't hide what you want to say because when you realise what you want, it might just be a little too late.

I just realised, we forgot to take a class photo. Haha

Oh mannnnn i'm gonna miss you people.
Pictures on facebook and flickr, steal-able and high quality!

EDIT: sorry, on zooomr

Sigh. I make alot of wrong choices.

Hey, hey, hey

Hey God, there are quite a few things i would like to rewind or correct in the future if i have a chance; any chance?

Hello Freedom?

2009-11-17T23:43:00.000+08:00

Finally done with the IB exams and ended on an awesome note in my opinion! To be honest, physics was pretty good, econs too (It bloody hell better be, i finished the damn ten year series for physics, plus the extra remedial crap)

But then again, its a funny little sad feeling. I guess its missing the people around!

: /

Okay on the brighter note, finally have time to be free, and the first thing i do is waltz off to kino to get books (American Gods by Neil Gaiman and The Fixer: A Story From Sarajevo by Joe Sacco; in awesome black and white graphic art!) and of course to training at Kallang (Damn i miss feeling like shit after training) Well that's the rather sad part about finishing with an odd combi, you've got no one to share the joy with, hence the solo journey to bookland.

Anyway, 5 things i learnt from IB (Yes we did learn shit from IB, but definitely not from IP)

1) Art is no cheap/joke/easy subject

We lived with mould and rotting milk in a room so reliant on aircon for ventilation that natural air seems freaking odd. Besides that, on crazy days, we get only 3 hours of natural sunlight (1 hour during the trip to Wah Chee, 1 hour for going to the toilet, walking to the art room to print and 1 hour spent walking to and fro or riding the bike up and down the corridor wondering why the hell you didn't get anything done during the holidays.) More hardcore than your HL maths X)

Well but it was fun while it lasted. Oh, the rooftop looks really great at night. And, its possible to go with zero sleep or food and still get cracking on your work. The life of a hobo.

2) IB makes you feel invincible

After all that shit thrown at you; EE IAs TOK yada yada, its rather surprising we're all still alive and taking more shit. It's a miracle we don't have any suicides. Makes you feel invinc(IB)le indeed.

3) In one month of studying, I have done more worksheets and practices than I have done over 4 years.

Seriously. (Honestly, towards the end of the exams, i found the physics questions and econs outlines quite fun to do.)

Also, in the half a month or so of exams, I also had more sleep than i will ever get on a normal day. Some weird shit is going on.

4) Studying makes you poor

I have overspent at least 150 bucks (Not including weekly allowance) on eating out breakfast (Hotcakes!) lunch and dinner. In addition, there is the massive amount of coffee consumption too when i study in Starbucks and macs (Honestly, Starbucks coffee is shit compared to macs. All I taste is sugar. Green tea latte is nice though). Not to mention gelato and gummies.

I think i'd be rather surprised if i cut myself and didn't bleed coffee.

5) For the most important event in my life since PSLE, it is kinda odd;

How i feel really calm. Something is really wrong. I feel more nervous for a class test than i ever really did for IB exams. Then again, maybe i've been numbed after getting so low for so long. You know, whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Well not stronger in this case; more like indifferent to stress.

Beat that stress. I eat you for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Not to mention supper.

Actually, there is a lot more, but these are the ones that stand out the most. From IB, i kinda wished i figured how to efficiently study from the beginning, then i might actually have a chance to keep HL maths instead of dropping. I also figured out how to be more spontaneous for art, which is really awesome, coz i think its making me a bit more random everyday. Makes things more amusing. Besides that, get rid of work early before they come back to haunt you, and ALWAYS footnote WHILE doing your EE (That experience was no joke i swear)

Ah there, it flows better that way.

Oh oh, and IB is fun. The most fun two years of my life so far. (No. Not the work, i know i said physics was fun, but fun in a different sense) The people, the class, the teachers, and the random shit that happens while IB life goes on. I'm gonna miss it.

Aww shucks. This kind of sentimental crap always gets me.

You Know,

2009-11-08T23:23:00.000+08:00

loneliness is a rather strange thing.

I don't need a 40+ score, just a 38 would make me over the moon. Serious.

Okay i don't know.

Hello, good morning, how you do?

What makes your rising sun so new?

I could use a fresh beginning too.

Anyway. I've got this story in my head i feel like painting out; i hope i have enough time to before going into NS.

Boo

2009-10-31T23:22:00.000+08:00

I just realised that today was.
Significant.
Nevermind.

Happy Halloween people!

And The 13th Brings Us Closer To The End

2009-10-13T23:35:00.008+08:00

Alright i got loads of stuff to put up and hopefully i can get this all done before the internet cuts. From art, (I know, its weeks ago but IB sucks free time out of life) and the last day of school today.

Well last day of school. Sadly.

Last year, Leemin told me that last day of school was sad. I didn't really believe. Back then in Sec 1, i couldn't wait for school to end.

Damn you time for passing so fast. There is so much left to do. So much left to say. So much left to change.

But i've kinda gave up thinking to myself that i can turn back time if i wished hard enough (Yeah i used to think that way. Like we COULD be dreaming but whatever. Ignore this ><) So what else can you do?

I say, slow down, and take everything in.

There's so much out there i swear.

P.S. Long post ahead. Click to enlarge (Actually i think you should know X))
~~~

Art Gallery

Finally! IB art is over! Sadly too actually. Now that canoeing is down, art is down; looks like 2 of my favourite things are gone. For the moment only thankfully!

Anyway the preview of the gallery on the day before the exam and exhibition.

JGoh, Lou Ee, Zhan Feng

Lou Ee, Anderson, Weekee

Mandy and Lou Ee

A bit of Fei's, Caroline, Kafoo (FINALLY, Kafoo's managed to link in the panorama. Most of the time it didn't coz it was too dark), a bit of Mandy's

Fei, Caroline, Kafoo

Caroline, Kafoo, Mandy and Fei's

Yao's and mine

Yao's

A bit of Yao's and mine (Video playing in the background! Will upload tomorrow ASAP!)

JGoh's and back to Zhan Feng.

And back to my gallery! Here's a close up of the works i have done. Hopefully i'll have time to write a short explanation for each piece but i can't promise (Stupid internet timer, check back the next day, the descriptions will be up then) The pieces are arranged in order of date they were conceived ~~(Videos will be added soon! Check back later if you don't see it!)~~ Videos are up!

Anyway using Zooomr for the time being coz i can't upload anything till next month coz i've hit the upload limit for Flickr

Cranes
74 x 96.5 cm
Acrylic on Plywood

Speeding
69 x 109.5 cm
Acrylic on Canvas

This Way Up
64.3 x 68.8 cm
Mixed Media (Acrylic on Paper, Acrylic on Plexiglass, Wood)

"Beauty In Living"
102 x 76 cm
Acrylic on Canvas

Construction
70 x 50 cm
Mixed Media (Watercolour on Paper, Pen on Paper, Tissue Paper, Newspaper)

Do You Know What You've Missed
61 x 184 cm
Acrylic on Canvas

Kaleidoscopic
61 x 184 cm
Mixed Media (Acrylic on Canvas, Acrylic on Tissue, Pen on Tissue)

Drive By
Digital Media

Run
92 x 61 cm
Acrylic on Canvas

Foggy
61 x 92 cm
Acylic on Canvas

Rapid Transit
61 x 207 cm
Acrylic on Canvas

Clockwork
Digital Media

Dashboard
61 x 184 cm
Acrylic on Canvas

(Wow okay that was long, and i haven't even loaded the videos yet. Still uploading on youtube. Ohwell! Looks like i'll do descriptions tomorrow. Anyway feel free to drop comments about my art, ~~descriptions will be uploaded tomorrow!)~~ (Descriptions another day people, IB exams first ><. The video ones are up on the youtube page though.)

I miss the art camping in the art gallery. So much stress, so much fun. And we made it! Awesome job art people. I kinda wanna go through that stressful hell again. Its really nice working day and night, feeding on sugar crackers and grapes, coffee milk and gummies. Singing out loud and knocking out on the couch, sawing random things and doing random crap. Almost falling asleep during econs paper 2.

There's so much left to learn. I learnt alot from art, i know.

How to treasure time; to see ordinary things in extraordinary ways. To keep going when everything is dragging you down, not to keep everything in out of fear, but to just sing it out loud.

Hell, can we just do this again?

~~~
The last day of school is a pretty sad thing. Its one of those days which you usually don't give shit about it because, well, it just feels like it'll never come.

But it does come and smacks you right in the face. I don't know about you, but i feel really down about it. Nostalgiaaaa. Its not about not coming back to school again. Its actually more about the things you do and the crap you go through with everyone else in the cohort; the random events (broken SAC door, throwing people in the fish pond, bouncing balls across the bridge, etc) and experiences as a class (WOW and all those buffets).

Aye. I hate losing friends the most though. No matter what they say, the fact is that sometimes some people just disappear from your radar. I hope not to many though.

Anyway midway through the last day celebrations and laughter, there's one thing i realised.

Yeap, I miss ACSI as much I miss SJI.

):

At least its not the end yet

:D

Should have taken more photos today but i guess these few will do!

6.08 and their randomness at the fountain!

Food as usual! Pizza and cake was great.

More of that

The classroom...

...and the class

Aye. Looks like the good in the year's gonna outshine the crap haha.

Like summer sunshine

Alright, alright, slow down.

There's alot more lined up for you.

Day Before The Last

2009-10-12T23:42:00.001+08:00

Tomorrow is the last day of school. Sadly. I'm gonna miss alot of the random things we've done there. Ohwell! No time for pictures lately, thanks to IB exams, which are creeping round the corner. But hopefully soon! when blogger is working fine tomorrow. The new post page seems awfully screwed up somehow.

You know, back then you used to wish school would end quick? I kinda wish it wouldn't now.

2009-10-03T00:16:00.000+08:00

Life suddenly becomes alot more shit without canoeing and art.

Such a terrible year, so much crap.

Sigh.

Day Of Reckoning

2009-10-02T09:55:00.001+08:00

Well so i'm here in this really noisy SAC and Yao has just left for his IB art exam. Mine is in about 2 hours. Damn its both scary and thrilling.

Like racing.

I really hope i'll do well! I think i'll be really sad if i don't get 7 for art honestly. So anyway i'm pretty bored so that's why i'm blogging now. Ohwell! no one around and stuck at the corner of the canteen. Haha i can't wait for the interview actually.

Anyway the day before yesterday, i took a nap at 6 p.m. and woke up at 6 a.m. Went looking for dinner but realised it was 6 a.m. in the morning when my sis walked in with her school uniform on.

Okay random.

I wanted to post panorama's about the art room but apparently Flickr can't be bypassed with proxys so its quite fail. Shall do it at home then!

Okay i've ran out of stuff to say and some random year 5's have crashed the table.

I shall just listen to my music to get in the mood X) If all goes well i might sing

2009-09-24T01:04:00.002+08:00

And we'll all float on okay
And we'll all float on okay
And we'll all float on okay
And we'll all float on anyway

4:27 a.m.

2009-09-19T04:30:00.000+08:00

Once again, i miss the trip and competition at moscow. Spamming art and having sleepless nights reminds me of the transit times at Dubai where a few days seem like a really long neverending day because of the strange hours and lack of sleep.

Ah.

11:54 a.m.

2009-09-18T11:54:00.001+08:00

Okay a quick one now. I wanted to do a proper write up but its crunch time now D: Here's the 'home' and workplace. and gallery. except it doesn't look like one now. damn messy haha.

I hate bloggers new picture system. anyway back to my brunch and work. too lazy to name whose place is whose now. click and figure!

Hobo lifestyle i swear.

5:25 p.m.

2009-09-16T17:23:00.001+08:00

Starving artist never felt so accurate. Cup noodles! (Thanks caroline. I think we might finish it quite fast ><)

Nevermind we can top that up with sugar biscuits. haha

WORK

2009-09-15T01:09:00.006+08:00

On 30th October, 1974, Muhammad Ali was up against George Foreman at the Mai 20 Stadium in Kinshasa, Zaire, in a historic fight for the heavyweight title, which was known as The Rumble In The Jungle. George Foreman was the heavyweight champion; a monster of a fighter, a young man who never lost a fight, knocking out 37 of his 40 opponents, including Joe Frazier and Ken Norton, the only two to have ever beaten Ali. Ali was an the old prince of the ring; past his prime at age 32, commentators felt that it was the end of the road for him.

In short it was a one sided fight.

Ali began his fight with the speed and technicality he was known for, jumping forward to strike Foreman, who was taken by surprise. However by the end of the round Foreman had gained on Ali, landing heavy punches of his own.

However, right away into the second round, Ali stopped. Leaning back onto the ropes, he allowed Foreman to punch him, with no intention to return attacks. This went on for the third round, fourth round, fifth, sixth, seventh.

In the hot and humid night, Ali took the punches, blocking, deflecting, striking once in a while, but never fully countering the attack; leaning back on the ropes all the while, he accepted whatever Foreman threw at him, every hook, every slug.

Then in the eighth round, with 2 seconds left on the clock, Ali struck back, downing Foreman with a left hook and perfect right hand in the fight which made Muhammad Ali the greatest boxer of all time. In the heavy air, Ali had slowly whittled down the younger Foreman with every punch he took.

Perseverance.

1:43 p.m.

2009-09-12T13:43:00.003+08:00

Back in the art room but for different reasons. Studying econs now; thought zhan feng and jgoh will be around or something but ohwell! I'm a lonely soul here other than Caroline's china boyfriend hanging around though. But i'll live! Okay more econs. Then when i'm stressed i shall start drilling the walls and all to hang up my paintings. Why? because drilling is therapeutic.

Damnit luh, I was supposed to go training today. Crapass.

BTW: does anyone know if there is any virus or anything that causes album art to spam the desktop everytime you start up? That's whats happening to my laptop lately. Its bloody annoying.

9:19 p.m.

2009-09-11T21:19:00.001+08:00

Sigh. Damn you prelims

4:27 p.m.

2009-09-11T16:25:00.002+08:00

Ah just had lunh and shower in the toilet cubicle with the hose. Canoeing style. Lol. Ahh back to this rotting piece of furniture. I swear there are bugs on it. Back to sketchbook. Last day here today. I kinda have mixed feelings though. Its stressful but fun in some ways.

1:21 p.m.

2009-09-11T13:21:00.003+08:00

Dead! tired. Well need to get lunch soon.

9:43 a.m.

2009-09-11T09:44:00.003+08:00

Morning world, morning. The problem is prelims ends just before art exams and the fact that i still have stuff yet to be done; all of us have stuff yet to be undone doesn't bode well for us at all. So its either get decent grades for prelims or rush art at the last moment, which i quote J.Goh, "physically impossible".

So I'm sitting here right now on this awfully old couch (and dirty too) and i have decided that Prelims is just out there to screw all of us art people. Damn. Back to work

4:53 a.m.

2009-09-11T04:53:00.002+08:00

Research workbook on the couch. Just realised the predicament we're in. Prelims end on the 31st sep, art IB on the 1st oct. see yer prelims. Sigh. dead and tired.

2:39 a.m.

2009-09-11T02:40:00.003+08:00

Alright getting late, caroline and zhan feng are having a verbal faceoff and caroline is obsessing over her china boyfriend called gui li. she's like caressing his leg or something.

Lol. okay paint paint.

12:01 a.m.

2009-09-11T00:01:00.003+08:00

OKay waiting for paint to dry now. Its early morning, still not late enough to sleep. Now lets wait for the retarded things to happen when lack of sleep and restlessness kicks in!

OKay back to sketchbook.

EDIT: Okay just saw the chatbox with proxy. Thanks Levin and person, whoever you are. haha all the art people need it. Don't worry Suzie, will be gayer when the exams end! The happiness gay. Might go for training on Saturday! Back to work!

7:00 p.m.

2009-09-10T19:01:00.003+08:00

Ahhh sketching is such a bitch. This pieces is much bigger than i thought D: And i'm starved.

5:30 p.m.

2009-09-10T17:31:00.002+08:00

New set of lights for the next piece! Man holidays are over so fast, not enough time! Gonna start next piece tonight.

Sketch sketch sketch

11:48 a.m.

2009-09-10T11:47:00.003+08:00

Forgot to post a last one! Finished up at 5 plus today, then went to sleep and finally awake and ready to roll for another day. lol. Ran out of 'beds' so slept on the painted sofa outside. Humid but comfy.

Ohwell back to work! A new piece!

3:49 a.m.

2009-09-10T03:49:00.002+08:00

Finally! Gosh the 2nd panel was rather pissing. But i don't think i did an excellent job with those 3 panels though. Seems too ordinary. Sigh.

More work?

1:44 a.m.

2009-09-10T01:45:00.004+08:00

Progress! Its slightly later now, but i've got caffeine in my bloodstream.

Zhan Feng is damn stone with his music. Lol

Back to work.

P.S. Sorry! Can't really reply comments, there's a limit to how much proxy can do.
@Caroline: Working! Yes yes, trying to imagine your supersonic nagging! Alot quiet here without your madness though X) lol

nth Day In The Gallery

2009-09-09T23:51:00.004+08:00

Well! I guess this sums up the day. And everyday since last friday.

Prelims are gonna be the death of me

Green And White

2009-09-01T02:26:00.003+08:00

The 100th post!

Originally, I wanted my 100th post was supposed to be about something else (Oh you'll know, when you read the next, well, deep post.) But after Teacher's Day today, i changed my mind.

I left SJI in sec 1, after national day, and on my last day of school there, I wasn't supposed to be there coz i was technically an acsian already and apparently there was a holiday because the ruggers won some championship but I don't really give a damn about that right now.

And yes, today I decided to skip the Teacher's Day concert in ACS(I) coz I felt that I should go back to SJI. I trust my gut feeling alot.

I know, its only about 8 months there, but truth be told, the attachment there beats being in ACS(I) for the remaining few years of secondary school, and currently, the slowly disappearing IB years we have now. Its true. My words are like reality, right in your face. My point is, I miss SJI, even after so long, even though its so short.

Some things you don't really know till its too late.

Its really nostalgic going back to SJI. Somehow I wasn't really bothered by the fact that I stuck out like a sore thumb in SJI due to the ACS uniform. Instead I was rather excited by the fact I was going back, like a rush of blood somehow. Alot have changed since the last time I went there (which was sec 4 by the way. I have no idea why i have to type this today, its 3 a.m soon. I trust my gut feeling i guess.), the art room became a chem room, (and for a moment i thought my memory was major fail coz i swear the art room was in front of the parade ground. Turns out that they shifted it to the back of the school into porta-cabins or something.) the classrooms were cycled from their usual position 2 years ago, and there are fancy lockers now (back then we had to keep our stuff in boxes under our chairs or below the shutter windows. Ah the old days.)

If there's one thing that keeps me going back there to SJI, its probably because i still love that place.

Now don't get me wrong. I'm not trying to say that ACS(I) is terrible or anything. Well, they do provide an awesome education here, its probably more balanced out than SJI in certain ways. The sports here is awesome too. And other than that the facilities in ACS(I) owns SJI's ones hands down.

But sorry guys, nothing can beat the family like atmosphere back in SJI. Where your old canoeing teacher in charge treats you like a good buddy, the head of the sec 1 level during the year you left remembers you even after so long, and some member of the senior administration invites you into his office in such a down to earth manner, and no formalities needed, tells you that he's impressed that you still come back even after so many years, even though you've only been here for 8 months.

And I say: "I miss the school, I miss how its like down here."

Its true. The whole school is warm and welcoming, (even for a traitor like me. Heh). A lot of the things i love to do started from there, (Canoeing, Art; hell if i started in ACS(I) i probably would be a typical swimmer/polo player, and man do i have alot to miss out not picking up canoeing). Its nice how your teachers there are more like good friends than teachers, and how everyone seems to know everyone, even if you're from a different class (Maybe that's coz a majority came from St Michael's but still, it seems easier making friends there. Sorry, i still don't know who's that guy from 6.5. Have I even seen him before?) I'm not saying i don't have great friends in ACS(I), I have many (Hi Daniel! Hi Elliott! And Others!). Its just that it seems easier to draw closer to those in SJI. SJI helped build my character too. ACS(I) may have added on to it, but it can't change it. I had my first date there too, but I'm going off tangent now.

The atmosphere says alot too. No students are allowed in the staff room, but on Teacher's Day, everyone just rushes in to distribute their gifts or sing songs for the teacher anyway, and the teachers don't really care; for that day, rules, heck. Its cool like that. And when you walk down the corridors, you hear loud cheering from the classes for their teachers, more mass singing, loads of laughter from both student and teacher. I know it made me smile.

Its alot different there. If you get what I mean.

There's no odd invisible barrier separating people, no intimidation in any way, no extravagance needed. Just plain o' bonding.

(Other than that, any ACS secondary Art students? Please improve your art, and explore something other than chess pieces, plants, girls and the school ground. I swear, SJI's art is pretty darn good. I say even i feel like my pieces lack the creativity compared to theirs. Its kinda embarrassing but inspiring at the same time.)

Anyway, its pretty late, I'll add in second thoughts tomorrow. If i have any. Need to sleep. Long day tomorrow.

To be really honest, sorry guys, it will take more than time and glory to make me feel attached to where I am now. Some things can't be gained merely through that; I actually enjoy myself here, but sometimes it more than that. Its like how a man may be poor and lacking, but if he's happy, he's way wealthier than a rich man who is unhappy. I may be red, blue and gold on the outside; cut me, and maybe i'm bleeding red, blue and gold too.

But sorry guys, deep inside, I'm still green and white. Some things just can't change.

Some things you can't see,
Until it gets too late.

Accelerate

2009-08-30T07:12:00.007+08:00

Ah okay so i'm finally able to wake up with my alarm by setting it to ring every 5 mins over half an hour. Improvement. Hah.

And right now i don't feel like sleeping again. Meh. I shall crash school later in the afternoon. Maybe after i go to church with my parents.

This pic is probably gonna be used for art, something to do with speed again. And time. Photoshopped for that surreal look, blur done by putting hand sanitiser between two lens filters.

Yup.

"but like..... everything's passing by you and you can't do anything, you can't do anything to stop it. weird?"

Weird?

EDIT:

OH yeah, and finally done with the video! This will be used for art. Minus the music. The song is Open Your Eyes by Snow Patrol. Actually, I can't decide. Keep or lose the music?

Crawl

2009-08-29T22:39:00.005+08:00

A picture a day? Or at least 3 a week. Yay.

I got loads of shots from Moscow waiting to be put up.

This one was some abandoned car near a sushi restaurant in Moscow. It had beer bottles in the backseat too.

IB exams soon! D:

Ever wondered if cars have feelings? Sometimes it seems like they do. Not only for cars though. For other stuff too. Sometimes I wonder if they know that they might be crushed and disposed of once they have been abandoned. Its a sad thought somehow.

Nevermind me. I get random like this sometimes. Haha

P.S. According to the tag cloud, IB life, being surprised/lost/shocked (D:) and constant contemplation/stoning/thinking of how ______ is gonna happen (._.) is always on my mind.

Forever yours, IB. Right.

Study study ><

Six-Fifty-One

2009-08-26T21:16:00.006+08:00

Aye, Back to blogger. Sorry, I'm rather fickleminded sometimes.

Anyway it was kinda hard to decide if IOC was a miracle or disaster.

Please guys, no matter how easy you say Disabled is, I don't agree.
Mindgames i play on myself during races do not work for studies. Unrelated.
Please make sure your teacher checks the recorder is actually recording.

Either way I would like to think that my original choice of envelope would have given me Twelfth Night!

Or i'd try foaming in my mouth and going into spasms on the floor.

Six Fifty One

Time is running.

P.S. oops, this isn't the 100th post. Forgot to deduct the drafts. lol

Okay, Officially On The Dark Side

2009-08-24T23:46:00.001+08:00

http://better-use-of-paper.tumblr.com/

I can't wait for porting function though.

2009-08-19T16:45:00.001+08:00

But i think i will keep this for now. Nostalgia. Haha

Sorry Blogger, Tumblr Looks Better

2009-08-18T22:24:00.002+08:00

http://better-use-of-paper.tumblr.com/

Prettier and less formatting problems. Nice.

I shall keep this though, once in a while to spam random stuff X)

2009-08-12T22:57:00.005+08:00

I miss canoeing and everyone in the national team. We do so much shit together, it feels like a family ):

Fire on the hill
Fire in me still
I feel out of my league
But you turn around and you say to me that

I love everybody here
And I agree
I love everybody here

From The Motherland, Where Canoe Paddles You!

2009-08-06T23:25:00.007+08:00

(okay so this was typed on the bus back from the paddling place. Whatever it was called ><

the girls k4 made it to final B! Secret no. 1. To be honest I was cynical. Sorry for being a secret asshole ._.

(Tsk Tsk brian. You forgot your number 1 rule for yourself. Never underestimate anyone.)

well but at least it was one damn good race. it was an awesome performance hands down girls. Not bad at all.

Ah. So happy for them X)

(Bread. Honey. Banana. Butter)

We unlucky fools.

(0.1 - 0.2 seconds. What the hell.)

But at least we did give it our all. We raced really hard. well but we did our best and yes we beat USA! At least we beat USA. But we lost to canda by 0.1 - 0.2 seconds. worthy of shit feeling of the year. The worst part was probably the fact that all the other heats were wayyyy easier and would have probably given us a higher chance of qualifying for semis at least.

Shucks. 0.2 is like clicking the stopwatch twice in quick succession.

A harder pull from any one of us.

A click from the camera.

(pictures when I get back guys. Other world juniors people msn me for pics. If you bug me enough I might post them on facebook!)

Well at least we beat USA. Everyone thought we were small boys.

Someone get me out of NS. I wanna paddle more.

Hell I'm gonna miss paddling :/

(This was added on tuesday ><)

They have awesome fruits there. Strawberries! Kebabs! Sadly, we didn't really have time to wander about. We only managed to catch a glimpse of the red square on the outside and other than that it was souvenier seeking and food feasting (more like ice cream indulging). Didn't get to see dead lenin.

(this continues on wednesday/thursday night/morning. Sorry. Brian the procrastinator. I shall post in school tomorrow)

anyway, without training suddenly life feels damn stagnant. So I have added something to make my daily events a lot more. Erm. Exciting. Running to macritchie at 11pm. Yeah I know. Wtf factor very high. But really very fun. And night is cooling too! currently shit list has a lot to clear. Especially for art. More photos are needed! D: wheee. Runners high now. Okay okay should sleep. I shall post this tomorrow. promise.
Sorry no secret here! X)
Sorry guys ><

EDIT: PICTURES ARE IN! MORE PICTURES NEXT TIME!

Pray For What You Want, But Work For The Things You Need

2009-07-26T23:11:00.003+08:00

Off to Moscow tomorrow, be right back on the 2nd!

And hopefully things will change for the better after this trip.

I'm gonna miss canoeing ._.

btw, who are you Person?

This Could Be The Worst Year Yet

2009-07-23T23:30:00.005+08:00

I would like to give up some speed for a little more intellect; I really hate struggling to scrape past my stuff despite working hard.
Or maybe all i need is some will to keep me going.
I'd rather be scoring well constantly than be going fast for just a moment.
It matters when it is about how fucked you'll be 10 years down the road.

Art is nice,
It looks pretty on walls, not on paper. Paper that labels you for life.
Please don't look at me like that, I know what i got myself into.
And don't you ever think its easy.
I wish it would pay off as much as other subjects,
Instead of just being admired.

Some people are really lucky in a way.
I do hope they remain lucky.
I just wish i had that kind of luck.
The kind that stays.

Don't tell me i could have used this time to study.
I know why I'm here.
It easier written than said.
Most people just won't understand.

At least give me an idea of what i'm doing here. This is not the time to crash out.

Amusing

2009-07-15T22:49:00.002+08:00

"A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects."

Something amusing i found on boingboing.net but forgot to post.

I Don't Know Why, But I Just Do It Anyway

2009-07-14T23:10:00.005+08:00

I'm sorry. I'm just a little bitter, a little angry, a little depressed.

A little lost.

Meanwhile, in real life, results will be back next tuesday and hopefully something would at least pay off for my efforts. It's the hardest i've worked in years.

Although i wouldn't be too hopeful since it seems like no one from HL art got 7. Too few pieces, insufficient research on sketchbook, lacking artist research. Oh hell, the pressure is on.

I shall up my efficiency tomorrow. Seriously.

You know. Its time to move Brian.

Why are you so hopeful sometimes?

I want a stone heart sometimes.

No Need To Run Honey. I Saw Everything

2009-07-11T22:31:00.008+08:00

Don't worry, I'm pretty sick of this too; its just that you forget faster.

Meow

2009-07-06T20:10:00.006+08:00

Taken on coach's birthday during the bbq (I know, I'm late and I'm slow but I don't really care). Hah. It was really tame though. Too bad the green eyes didn't really stand out.

A quickie!

Anyway nothing much this week. A few more weeks to Moscow, about 1 week to end of exams. Okay there was something quite interesting. I used the wrong question for English. OTHER THAN novels and short stories. I wonder how I missed that till 15 mins left. Go on have a laugh guys, at least I know this won't be happening during the actual IB exams. Ferdie's gonna kill me.

Maths tomorrow! Physics! Horror! And I forgot to hand in my sketchbook. Shucks.

I've been pretty forgetful lately.

And Person, why so shy?

You're So Cold

2009-06-29T23:00:00.003+08:00

It's colder here than it was last year.

Okay so Econs paper went pretty fine, I'm certain I won't do as bad as i did in term test. All that work and coffee had better paid off. Hah.

Okay that was insignificant.

I just need to say that that was really cold.

Like my leftover cappuccino

MC=AC

2009-06-28T00:27:00.004+08:00

The true meaning of effective studying is coffee/yogurt drink/bread and soup. Especially hot coffee. Hot coffee is nice.

So i just came back from Starbucks covering 1/4 of the Ian Dorton Econs textbook, which is so much more than what i usually cover in 2 weeks. Strangely I seem to be so much more efficient in random-ass public places when it comes to studying (Cedele (Their organic food is bloody expensive), Starbucks, Cafe Cartel (I love their double shot expresso with hazelnut something yada yada but yes i like and thats that), Island Creamery (Black forest root beer float), Random Playground Bench and places) Okay so the food is quite distracting but still. I learnt more econs than i ever did in 2 terms. That says alot.

Damnit Ping, i should have taken up your outmug challenge.

But of course. Now mom thinks i'm not paying attention when i work outside (Not true, the internet is wayyy more distracting than music in the background and noise from the crowd). And then she also thinks that i'm looking at girls >< ( But seriously. For the first time i actually got hell lot of work done). They just don't believe in unconventional methods. I love working at night. So quiet and empty. So now i got this wonderful method of studying but I need to set up a personal coffee fund coz i'm really sucking my savings dry (Damned organic coffee. And ice cream). Donations will be gladly accepted :D I swear its the internet that stops me from mugging If you can't hide from it, run from it. Eh exams are next week. Ah.

No time for photos lately, sorry!

Unicorn

2009-06-26T23:41:00.002+08:00

Just found this today. Its from quite a while back. Way back.

Don't Leave Me High, Don't Leave Me Dry. Not Now.

2009-06-24T22:01:00.003+08:00

'Wouldn't know'

'Wouldn't care'

'Wouldn't matter anymore'

I don't care either

I lie.

I just don't know how to tell you

Just give me a minute to pour out every little bit so that you'll know and I know.

Sigh. I don't know

I'm Tired Of Today

2009-06-20T22:05:00.003+08:00

Its one of those days when you look and you just go "Damnit".

Anyway races went well today, had hell lot of abrasions though and i think i messed with my sleep cycle when i took that 3 hour nap.

So why do i still feel so down?

Can you tell me why you have been so sad?
Can you tell me why you have been so

sad?

I Blog Like A Schizophrenic

2009-06-15T23:44:00.005+08:00

Send out the morning birds
To sing of the damage
Now that the calm's returned
I know I can't manage

The Hush Sound is my new musical-drug

Happy Birthday Dad!

Sun sets too fast. I have a strange obsession with them too, i like how they are different everyday.

I Was The Ship Who Was Too Proud To Ever Sink

2009-06-13T21:45:00.006+08:00

Latest update of life, my home finally has a Wii. I know, its a bit late. I missed the Wii bandwagon. Oh heck, i missed the whole entertainment-at-home bandwagon. I'm currently running after it.

And yes, the Wii is entertaining my sis and little bro tonight, while i sit here blogging/world lit-ting and all. Finally! some form of entertainment at home.

Home appeal +10

Other than that, time to study like mad. Two more weeks, holiday sure passes unbelievably fast.

Today was the first time i actually felt happy in months. Its probably knowing i've something to look forward to and aim for.

We set the wrong course
And headed due north
That's where we went wrong
We were young and learning
Steady hearts hate turning
That's where we went wrong

Hey come back to me (ba ba da, ba ba ba)
Hey come back to me (ba ba da, ba ba ba)
Hey come back to me (ba ba da, ba ba ba)
Baby, come back to me (ba ba da, ba)

"God, You really gotta help me this time"

2009-06-07T17:45:00.005+08:00

please.
please.
please.
please?
damnit please ):

(Don't Feel Too) Invincible

2009-06-06T16:16:00.006+08:00

Yes, this is love for the first time.
Well you'd like to think that you were invincible.
Yeah, well weren't we all once
Before we felt loss for the first time?

I hate the irony of the art pieces i'm doing.

No, Not Giving Up

2009-06-03T21:03:00.002+08:00

What's The Rush?

2009-05-31T20:13:00.004+08:00

I realised i haven't ever really blogged about daily life before. It seems pretty strange to talk about the day. Like there are just so many things to talk about everyday, i don't really know where to start.

Its been 12 days since i've turned 18. Probably has to be the worst birthday ever yet. Okay thats overrated. Thanks for all those wallposts on facebook and those smses. Made me smile for real for the first time in weeks, honestly :). Just a bit of things that has been haunting me lately.

And so i'm typing this on bus number 14 on the way to tuition. Gotta remember when to drop though. Not really familiar with the route. Anyway, i changed my mind. Maybe blogging for particular events in the week seems like better material. I don't think anyone wants to know i went to daniel's church today (BRMC by the way) X) kidding daniel, don't cry!

Ever since Event of Great Distress took place, things have been pretty strange. Made new friends, step back and seen where i stand, started listening to music on the go again, started playing my guitar again. Yada yada. And strange messages pop up regarding my sitiation everyday in the most unexpected ways, almost like God sending advice from heaven down to earth:

'Brian, life goes on, this is a lesson learnt, the next time, you'll know what to do right and do it better'

so i did stray, i did go too fast, now i know. Learn Brian, learn.

And be better. So right now, i have no idea where on earth i'm at now.. I hope i didn't miss my stop. I'm gonna be late for tuition if i do.

On the first week of Event of Great Distress occuring,

hold on, lemme check with the bus driver where i am. I don't recognise this place.

Okay 4 stops.

Anyway i met Small Fry. Small Fry is highly experienced about the Event of Great Distress. Been there, done that. I think Small Fry probably had it worse off than me. Small Fry says it takes time to get over it, but don't take too long coz you're never gonna get anywhere if you take too long. Sounds very extreme though. Besides i know i'm not the only one experiencing Great Distress coz Small Fry has her own kind of distress; we're on the same sinking boat. Well another sort which i can't say. I don't really fancy death by eyedrops.

Welcome to my boat, its already sunken actually, if you don't mind. Once in a while there's a little difficulty breathing but once you get over it, its pretty nice here.

Tuition now

tuition done.

'Shit happens like how bunnies multiply'

And of course one of the first people i turned to was the wise lolcat. Okay to a certain extent. Because i know her idea of flinging isn't what i'd like to do. I'm not that sort. lolcat says i need to forget if its really not working because it isn't gonna do me any good waiting for something that won't happen before ending off with a comforting pat pat and then harassing the Boy Who Has Never Tasted Mangoes.

Lately things have been pretty surreal. Its like normal life except it kinda feels like something is strangely odd. Its like falling asleep on a january night and waking up realising that, woah, its may. Or walking past something that gives a strange 3rd person flashback; suddenly you're watching yourself and what you did and going,

damn, why didn't i do that then?

Sadly you can't turn back time. You can forgive but you can't forget, and that's true. But when you forgive you don't bring up what you can't forget again. You lock it up and keep it at the back of your mind and remember it so you can take revenge when you need to! Kidding. You learn from it. Like how you learn from mistakes.

So anyway, daily life is pretty much the same. Something new needs to come along soon. I shall get drunk on art maths and physics because if i'm gonna give myself a headache, i'd better be helping me. Need to forget too.

I realized this doesn’t make sense. Unfiltered random thoughts of Brian.

Okay I lied. I rather not forget and have things work out if they can.

Halloween felt like yesterday

Rebuild

2009-05-18T21:57:00.008+08:00

#13 Its my birthday tomorrow.

Damn you Brian, pick yourself up and just go. Its just one of life's lessons.

18 comes only once.

Edit: Shucks I need a flickr pro account soon.

And Squid Said To Fish: "How Did It End Up Like This", And Crocodile Added:"What A Stressful Matter"

2009-05-11T20:35:00.008+08:00

While The Frogs Sat In A Circle, Heads On Their Fists,
Wondering If Elephant Remembers.
But Elephant Was Sleeping And It Was Dreaming,
Of Lobsters Turning Into Flying Pigeons

sigh

#12 If you willed hard enough would you get what you will? I like to think somehow you will.

God, this feels like crap. Sigh.

2009-05-10T17:41:00.004+08:00

#11 Of all the times of the day, i like evening and night the most.

Sigh.

Here's Monday,Tuesday, And Before You Know It, It's May

2009-05-06T23:27:00.004+08:00

#10 Perhaps. I dream too much, I try too hard, I don't know when to give up. Perhaps.

Now that i think of it, time passes too damn fast. Just yesterday felt like last July, and next thing we know, IB exams are just around the corner, catching you when you least expect it to.

And yesterday. Felt like You were just around the corner waiting for me. Walking together, talking together, dreaming together. Changing together.

Alright, study Brian study, paddle Brian paddle, pick yourself up and go Brian. It will happen when it happens.

I just realised, i haven't been blogging about alot of things i should have. Ah.

Don't walk away then turn and say "I love you" anyway

The End Of The World As I Know It

2009-05-01T20:12:00.010+08:00

#9 I hate physics. But deep down, I think its really cool.

I do admit I might have been going too fast, but do remember I can slow down too.
I'm not gone; just wondering and waiting.

Be kind, rewind?

By the way, first video post!