FREEDOM

Okay lazy to blog now, but queued up stuff on my art blog which will probably give you an insight on what happens in army. Mainly planes, birds, clouds, counting of days and the female species which Tekong seems to be missing.

Got them queued to release once a day or something so I can pretend to be around in my virtual life while i'm sucking up to the sun and learning to shoot guns in real life (:

But maybe i'll blog here tomorrow. Right now its coffee and movie, Hurt Locker!

Why I Love This Picture...

...Is probably due to the fact that it reminds me of how I place a lot of my hopes and dreams on massive amounts of faith even in the strangest of places and most difficult of situations. I hope to keep doing more of that in the future.

(Thanks for the pic anyway Abi!)

                                                                         ~ ~ ~
"Nothing is to be gained by a head-in-the-sand avoidance of the facts of life and death. The healthiest solution is to accept that one's span on earth is limited and then to live every day, in the present, to the full. Nostalgia and procrastination have always been, and will always be, the two greatest enemies of a fruitful enjoyable existence on this planet."


-Peoplewatching: the Desmond Morris Guide to Body Language


Yeah this came from a body language book. And yeah, this (in observance of the book's contents) comes from a man who believes we came from apes and live to have sex to pass on our genes. These kind of things amuse me much.

                                                                         ~ ~ ~

So its exactly 12 hours and 59 minutes to army since typing this, and there's this strange thing about army that makes all of us guys feel that its either

a) A jail term of 2 years

b) 2 years of hell

c) A damn waste of time

For me, it kinda like someone snipped off the reel of an awesome movie and replaced it with some weirdass/boring documentary. Well 2 years is pretty long. Come to think of it, its like spending your 19th and 20th running around grass and trees instead of spending it on more productive things like studying in uni/traveling the world/picking up new skills/finding a gf? HAHA. But you probably get what I mean. Like what I always seem to say, its a void of 2 years.

Well hopefully those 2 years would be worth it somehow. I'll be placing a lot of my faith on that as well, most importantly, the decisions I make then, trust me. I bet it'd be pretty memorable somehow.

I hope I don't procrastinate too much though. For certain matters of the heart.

                                                                        ~ ~ ~
"But it is important that, in gaining success, the individuals should not overstress themselves or place themselves in prolonged state of tension. And success must always be measured in personal terms. A hill-shepherd may feel just as successful, in his own way, as a world-famous Nobel Laureate. Success must not be confused with fame."

-Peoplewatching: the Desmond Morris Guide to Body Language

Wisdom in a body language book? Strange.
                                                                        ~ ~ ~

So I've had my worst result in a race in 6 years. HAHA. Somehow I'm strangely satisfied (not in the achievement point of view quite obviously though), and perfectly sound despite losing to a teammate 3 years my junior. One thing I learnt though; losing is a humbling yet important experience. NJCC 2008 K1 500m Junior Men, Silver, one of the best lessons I've had in canoeing. And life. By far. It teaches you to appreciate what you've got and at the same time drives you on further, because it is true, too much of something is no longer magical. Besides where is the kick? Heh.

It doesn't teach you not to lose, and swear by winning all the time, but rather how to find your will to go on while shit falls from the sky and while at it, love the chase, because once you get how this works, well, things will just work.

You can't win all the time, but you can try.

Anyway, k2 300m (300m is a damn weird distance I swear) with Qiang was awesome, albeit the lack of training and familiar boat, because for that first 200m of that 300m race, it felt just like my first race in Sec 1, training in heavy rain, and sprinting in the morning just as the sun is breaking through the sky just to be the first to send huge ass ripples through that perfect glass-like water. 3rd was great, but flying out of the starting block felt amazing.

That, is worth spending the last 2 days before army running about on rocky ground and getting burnt in the sun, all while wondering if the water in Bedok is drinkable with its nice blueish greenish colour just before lining up for a race.

                                                                         ~ ~ ~

"It is important to make a distinction between being calmly relaxed and being passively lazy. Relaxation does not imply lack of enthusiasm, nor does it contradict the idea of passionate interest in a person's favorite preoccupations. Indeed, zest for living and an eagerness to pursue one's chosen subjects are vital elements in ensuring a long life. It goes without saying that retirement from such activities is to be avoided at all costs. If a job or occupation has to be given up, then it must be replaced immediately with some new and equally absorbing hobby or task that each day offers an exciting new challenge. Pessimism and cynicism are negative elements; optimism stretches lives."

-Peoplewatching: the Desmond Morris Guide to Body Language

                                                                        ~ ~ ~ 

I can honestly say that I'm glad that I did not get an internship with some architectural firm as I had planned to do after IB, after Hungary. I can also honestly say I am glad I didn't try to enjoy more of my time before army but instead got a job in the kitchens of Fish & Co to try to earn some money.

Working in the kitchen of a rather busy restaurant is an interesting experience. One moment you could be talking with your co-workers while making lemonade and in the next moment, dumping fish after fish into the fryer while downing platter after platter on the grill for that horribly mistimed team/OG/class dinner. Much like real life Diner Dash. The complains are real too.

Well to be honest, when I started work, the first thing I told myself was: 'After going through IB and all that education, what am I doing in the kitchen of Fish & Co. cooking for people when all my classmates are probably interning at law firms or some businesses, working in school and giving tuition, all while earning (probably or highly likely) more pay than me? Must have done something wrong somewhere, I didn't even get an internship like everyone else. Fail at life Brian.' But hey, when you want to get off your butt to do something, your whole body has to follow. (Good to know there are some others in school who work part time with this sort of jobs too! So now I don't feel so left out I guess!)

Quite elitist? Yeah. But don't lie, truth is, we all feel this way. How do you think the acronym NSK came about? In the reality of top schools, we're all secret assholes. Truly.

What I'll probably remember from working part time as a cook is the (strange) satisfaction of earning that (as the law interviewer had put it,'pathetic') pay which you had some awesome shopping plans for, only to realise that you couldn't bear to spend it. Because at that point, you suddenly realise.

Hey, earning money is no easy shit.

A majority of us, before getting a part time job will probably take for granted the allowance our parents give us, forgetting the fact that it does take effort to earn that amount. Its much easier to take than earn, in short. Once starting working in a part time job like this, where work is tough and pay is crap (a friend in Australia LOLed when I told her my pay) you thank your lucky stars your parents forced you to do finish those stacks of maths assessments in Primary school, call up your teachers to make sure you're on task in Secondary school, and in JC, call you repeatedly while you're in Starbucks studying, asking you how you study there, and double checking if you're lying and going out with some girl instead (strange but true). It does help too that by the end of the day, I leave work at 1030 to 1130 PM, head to toe in a film of oil, and smelling of fish, but very much wiser about the real world.

One useful skill I did pick up during this part time job was, well cooking. Before that, my home survival menu consisted of instant pasta and scrambled eggs (I got the recipe from this HTML for beginners book I borrowed. It was some HTML practice; make a page describing the recipe. Well, recipe turned out to be pretty genuine and I guess if it works for geeks, it will work for me.) which wasn't a very reliable source of food to be honest. Instant pasta had to be bought in the first place and depended on whether there was fresh milk in the fridge, and the eggs. Well they get kinda bland after a while. After working part time as a cook in the kitchen for 2 months, I have definitely learnt, as one of my friends had put it, "the most basic skill for surviving overseas." True enough I guess. Well, not confident enough to make staff meals for the more experienced kitchen crew, but good enough to make a nice dinner for my old class the last time we met. It was simple, but I guess its more tasty than scrambled eggs. Tomato based pasta with prawns and sauteed mushrooms. More satisfying than mushroom and herbs flavoured instant pasta. Definitely more useful in the near future/ for certain important events.

Next time, I'm really gonna try that chilli cream pasta. I wanna get it right the second round.

Another thing about working part time in the kitchen is realising that those Chinese foreign workers are actually a pretty fun bunch to hang out with somehow. We talk about random stuff that crops up, get annoyed with customers who are way too particular about food, and laugh at those strange orders that happens once in a while (big - seafood platter for two - without the calamari, without the scallops, no fries, all rice). Before that, they were always this rather foreign (no pun intended) concept of labour, probably comparable to robots. We are all quite unaware sometimes. In real life, they are just like alot of us, with their own dreams, and maybe, even a little more hardworking sometimes (Like how they try to learn English, very unlike the way we attempt to learn Chinese. Though the kind of English vocab they try to get me to teach them sometimes can get a bit amusing; somewhere along the lines of body parts and certain actions/movements).

I remember one of the days while clearing rubbish with one of them (the trash by the way, is freaking heavy. The size is deceiving.). We walked through the upper floors of the shopping center with the bins rolling in hand, past the high class restaurants grocery stores, as well as stores selling leather coated safes (???) and fancy stationary, before reaching the dumpsite where we, after throwing our rubbish, decided to go hide behind the small boarded off area to rest for a bit (Friday nights make awfully busy nights). Well, in the midst of all the random steel bars and scrap wood - the construction materials were kept there somehow - he lit a cigarette, plopped down on a ledge behind a grill facing some busy portion of Orchard Road, and over the sound of car horns and rumbling engines asked me (Not in English of course):

"So. You're done studying?"

"Yeah, waiting for army I guess."

He asks me to guess his age.

"23?"

"Nope, 25."

But then again, I heard from others that he was 23, and another saying he was 26 or so. The other Chinese worker told me he tells guys that he's 25, and girls that he's 23. "Girls love younger guys" he says. I just nod, wondering if he was really 25 or 23, or somewhere in between.

"How old are you?" he asks.

"18. Actually turning 19 this year."

"Mmhmm I see. Then what after army?"

"University."

"So what are you gonna study then? Is it necessary to go to a university?"

Awkwardly staring at the glowing cigarette, while suppressing the urge to wave away the smoke, I replied:

"Architecture I guess, Maybe industrial design? (Futile attempts to explain both subjects in Chinese) I dunno, but everyone here tries to go to a university anyway."

"Oh. I don't really know what to do next time. I know I want to go back to China someday. But I don't know what to do there."

Awkward silence. He looks through the grills and down on the traffic where the car horns continue to sound.

"Singapore is a strange place. Everyone is so busy, its totally different from where I'm from, the lifestyle is kinda slow there. Not as fast as here. You come to work in the morning and next thing you know its night already. Too fast for me."

More awkward silence.

"Hmm. Why not try open a restaurant in China? After all you probably understand how one runs since you work in one now."

He chuckles and looks at me and said:

"Its not easy. Possible but kinda hard I guess. There is corruption too, you know those officials there... Ah, hopefully I can figure out something."

He tosses the cigarette on the floor and rubs it out with his foot, blankly staring at the odd black mark it makes on the concrete.

"Alright lets get back now. I think they would be done washing the floor by then."

He gives this tired smile and gets up.

And at this point I told myself. We are some lucky fuckers. We just don't know how lucky sometimes.

On my last week of work, he was sitting on the pipes on one corner, next to the chillers with this blank look on his face again. I asked him if he was alright and he gave a sigh, looked at me and said:

"I have cooked everything here before, its always the same. It gets really boring you know."

The sound of printing, and a new order comes in.

                                                                           ~ ~ ~

"Longing for the future and nostalgia for the past are the two great enemies of a rewarding life. A careful study of the most successful members of society soon reveals that they have broken all traditional age rules. They have done things when they wanted to do them and have ignored any imagined limitations of time. They have succeeded early or triumphed late, lived short busy lives or long happy ones. The lesson they teach us is to eat life up greedily, never to procrastinate and never to think that it is too late."

-Peoplewatching: the Desmond Morris Guide to Body Language

Its kinda funny how scientific studies do bring out some pretty useful guides to life. I always thought science was just about technical details and facts, very much like a machine with well fitted and smooth running cogs. Except I didn't know that this machine is what makes planes fly.
                                                                         ~ ~ ~

So its past 3AM now and I should be packing my bag for army tomorrow, but I guess I shall finish up this post first. This is probably the post which I have put the most thought into by far, and in good time I guess. Well like someone just told me, its like we army guys are going to jail or something (Yeah there are people who don't need sleep like me too), but I do hope there's more to army than just comparisons to jail (Come to think of it, a few years back, I would be like 'What army?') Since I'm stuck in what seems to be the inevitable, I might as well just give my best into it. No point in between. Its either or. But of course, SEA games is still that new huge as target in my sight for the next few years, and hopefully, I can do more than just take part in it. There will be uni then, definitely too, and hopefully art opportunities for me, not to mention other things in life that needs to be settled. Wow.

If it looks impossible, I guess we can have some fun trying to make it possible. Done it once, I'm sure we can try again.

10 hours 12 minutes to army at this point. Time to get some sleep, and maybe get up just in time for Macdonald's hotcakes.

Oh yes and after reading that body language book; Women, when squeezing past someone, especially men, will always face her back to the person. Men on the other hand, do otherwise. It amused me when I figured out it really was true.

Songs

 Something I found on tumblr which I am bored enough to do:

Day 01 - Your favourite song:
Drops of Jupiter by Train (So awesome, I wish I wrote this song)

Day 02 - Your least favorite song:
(*Fin) by Anberlin (This song for some reason, keeps appearing on my mp3's shuffle every single time after the very first song I play. Pisses me off I swear. It's a weird history for me hating that song, but yeah.)

Day 03 - A song that makes you happy
 All I Want Is You by Barry Louis Polisar (From the Juno soundtrack!)

Day 04 - A song that makes you sad
Keep Breathing by Ingrid Michaelson (Sad but at the same time true. Another would be World Spins Madly On by The Weepies)

Day 05 - A song that reminds you of someone
The Girl by City & Colour

Day 06 - A song that reminds of you of somewhere
 Free Fallin' by John Mayer (Was learning to play it in Hungary)

Day 07 - A song that reminds you of a certain event
Accidentally In Love by Counting Crows (Well we all have first dates!)

Day 08 - A song that you know all the words to
Drops of Jupiter by Train (Haha by default. But the first song ever if I can remember clearly? I'm Still Here by John Rzeznik)

Day 09 - A song that you can dance to
Great DJ by The Ting Tings (I can't dance for shit. But if you're gonna make/force me dance, please play something with a nice bass? So I guess this one would do. But please don't try (: )

Day 10 - A song that makes you fall asleep
Coffee by Copeland (The irony, I kid you not.)

Day 11 - A song from your favorite band
Ocean Avenue by Yellowcard (I got a few favourite bands, but this one then, since its the first song I loved. I remember when it first came up on the portable radio I was listening to when I was reading Harry Potter And The Goblet Of Fire; Never turned back from music since then. Back when I was 12 or 13. Haha. I know Unwell by Matchbox 20 and Bring Me To Life by Evanescence were hits back then. Better than alot of the half assed stuff on the radio these days.)

But from my favourite band of all? I guess Different Names For The Same Thing by Death Cab For Cutie.

But if John Mayer was a band, 3x5

Day 12 - A song from a band you hate
I Hate This Song by Secondhand Serenade (First they were okay. Then they got so damn annoying. The song is for irony)

Day 13 - A song that is a guilty pleasure
Bad Romance by Lady GaGa (She's like a freaking nutcase, but damn. This song is pretty good to be honest)

Day 14 - A song that no one would expect you to love
Don't Forget by Demi Lovato (Yes. It's Disney. Yes. I think its a good song)

Day 15 - A song that describes you
Why Georgia by John Mayer (Then at the moment? Crazy For This Girl by Evan & Jaron, The Only Exception by Paramore, Hey Jude by The Beatles? But then again I can't really decide )

Day 16 - A song that you used to love but now hate
I'm Yours by Jason Mraz (Too much good is bad. Instant skip now. There's another too, I Miss You by Incubus)

Day 17 - A song that you hear often on the radio
Tik Tok by Ke$ha (What's with that weirdass $ sign in the name? And some other rap/RnB/Lady GaGa stuff. I feel that the stuff on radio is crap these days)

Day 18 - A song that you wish you heard on the radio
Brighter by Paramore (The first time I heard this song, I thought, "Damn this deserves airtime on the radio")


Day 19 - A song from your favorite album
No Such Thing by John Mayer from Room For Squares ("I'd like to think the best of me, is still hiding up my sleeve")

Day 20 - A song that you listen to when you’re angry
 Pain by Jimmy Eat World (Rage +10. I love this song during competitions. Followed by Pleased To Meet You by Wolfmother, Reptilia by The Strokes)

Day 21 - A song that you listen to when you’re happy
 Semi-Charmed Life by Third Eye Blind

Day 22 - A song that you listen to when you’re sad
 Help Yourself by Sad Brad Smith (Or Keep Breathing by Ingrid Michaelson, but I used this song already.)

Day 23 - A song that you want to play at your wedding
You And Me (Wedding Version) by Lifehouse (So I'm unoriginal. But so what? This song is sums everything up. Its practically perfect. Especially the instrumental part, its awesome.

I would like to sing this to that girl on my wedding day, whoever she is.

Lol. Brian wtf. Lol. Seriously.  

I can't believe I said this online )

Day 24 - A song that you want to play at your funeral
The Heart Of Life by John Mayer (I love this song somehow. Its full of meaning. Another would be To Build A Home by The Cinematic Orchestra)

Day 25 - A song that makes you laugh
10,000 Motherfuckers by Jason Mraz (Okay never heard the song before, but the title makes me chuckle)

Day 26 - A song that you can play on an instrument
You and Me by Lifehouse (The only song I can sing decently, play well, and most importantly, remember the chords on the guitar)

Day 27 - A song that you wish you could play
Stop This Train by John Mayer (Damnit John Mayer, how the hell do you have your thumb at 3 on the low E string and pinky at 7 on the High E string? And such a good song.)

Day 28 - A song that makes you feel guilty
Us by Regina Spektor

Day 29 - A song from your childhood
Breathless by The Corrs (It played on Central alot! The other song I would have picked would be I'm Still Here by John Rezeznik, but I already used it. When I was a kid, I LOVED Treasure Planet. HAHA)

Day 30 - Your favorite song at this time last year
High And Dry by Radiohead

Forget the days, I was bored. Well. This took longer than I thought! Goodnight!

12 Days To Army. No Wait. 11 Days.

Either I'm counting down to army because I'm bored of my current lifestyle or because I'd rather get it over and done with pretty soon. Pretty much sums up this (pseudo?) enthusiasm all of a sudden.
 
So I still haven't gotten any good photos lately, but i do have a video i made for the SUTD application, but apparently looks like its not gonna end up in the application (Since application is already submitted and all and the interviewer told me that i should have just submitted my stop motion video which i made for art last year)

That photo comes from one of the stills in the stop motion. Its some paper model house which I made to match the part which i was to explain why i wanted to take architecture. One thing to note though: Just because something works out fine in your head doesn't mean that its gonna work out fine out there in real life. (Should have used card paper, it was flimsy like hell. Heh)

Looks like the stop motion could end up as a bit of entertainment in the end! Just need to fill in the some dialogue. Will post it up soon for fun. Or else all my efforts would have been wasted.

3:00 a.m now, I must really hate sleep these days. Probably explains why I'm typing in a strange manner now.

So lately I've been thinking. What if getting everything you wanted and aimed for, only to realise you've got no one to share it with? I dunno, its a pretty random thought.

But its true. I don't want to be so caught up with my passions and all that i just. Well, forget. About family, friends, things i used to believe in. Maybe things i still believe in.

Maybe i'm tired, but I think my thoughts look very clumsy in words at the moment. Okay surrendering to sleep now. Shall figure what i'm thinking in the morning.

Edit: OH YEAH. I cooked pasta for class dinner today. HAHA. It still amuses me somehow. Okay sleep. 

Interlude

Well if that made my day. I definitely hope it would happen more often. I could do with alot more little make-my-days.

Okay haven't been updating the blogger for a bit, because lately I've been busy with some video making thingy for some uni application, but the other blog is still very quite alive!

Sometimes I do wonder why on earth do I need 2 blogs for, one for art and one for life when I can throw everything together.

And then I realised; Its the perfectionist instinct kicking in. Things that can be sorted shall be sorted.

My First Piece Of Digital Art! (Okay Actually Second, But Technically, I Started On This First.)

Summer Skin by ~briankhoo on deviantART

Finally finished colouring in the picture of the girl i posted a few days ago! Need to work more on my sketchings of humans though. The face is pretty off, I think probably because of the nose and the eyes, which are missing some contours, especially near the nose bridge; something is wrong, but still can't really figure that out. But ohwell, I guess its okay for a first try! Stuff with faces always seem tricky in some way. Gonna try other angles soon. Other than that, I could do alot more work with highlights and shadows; since I referenced quite a bit, this one should be fine, but its a different story if I didn't.

Man this feels alot like those IB art days. Thinking of another project to do now since this one is done, while at the same time trying to figure out if doing those crosshatching sketches will work on digital, because somehow, i think they seem to work alot better on real life paper.

Somehow drawing the female seems more fun though. Something with the hair and eyes i guess.

                                                                           ~ ~ ~
Other than that, I've been thinking about army lately and the consequences of such a necessary void of 2 years. Well I guess I gotta admit that paddling would be rather impossible during that period of time, so its OCS on my sights then! And hopefully somehow God will help me figure out something some way or another because I've decided. I want to go to SEA games at least once before I quit and if its possible, try to win something then. Of course after army would be another problem with unis, considering the fact that architecture is gonna be a real time-sucker (from what i've heard) and I have no idea whether paddling is even viable then. And then again which one to sacrifice time for?

(Actually don't think to far Brian, you aren't even confirmed in architecture yet. So take things slow, one by one, leave tomorrow's worries for tomorrow.)

But i could use more hours in a day though. So much i want to do.

EDIT: That deviantart thing looks terrible though. Lol

So What I Have Been Up To Lately...

Yeah, I kinda have disappeared from my blog for long periods of time, but I do have good reasons for that!

1) I have been frying fish at night.

Seriously guys. Partly why i couldn't wake up for training (For two days in a row, because I was too tired to set alarm on Monday, and too tired to wake up on Tuesday. What a massive fail Brian.) I'm working at Fish & Co. @ Ion as cook. So drop by, say hi, and please don't order swordfish collar. Its quite a pain to cook. Especially during rush hours.

Anyway, why not blog in the afternoon then?

2) Because I have been sleeping.

Surprise, surprise. Because training in the morning is tiring. Work at night is tiring too. Work + Training = Damn tiring. (At the same time, I guess its a vicious cycle which causes me to miss my alarms)

If so, then what about free times?

3) I have been drawing more!

Yup, tried joining some t-shirt design competition. Okay, it didn't take up so much time, but all the photoshop crashing did. (Note to self: Save before doing some memory intensive stuff on photoshop. Your laptop isn't very new and up to date) Okay I have been playing a little more com than usual too, probably thats why. Okay a lot, not a little. League of Legends and L4D is fun.

Ohwell gotta start taking more photos too. Camera has been stagnant for a while now. Somehow, I can't wait for NS to come. Early seems a lot more better than delayed. And damnit! Iron Man 2 comes out during BMT. Sigh

Speaking of movies, Up In The Air was awesome stuff. Sadly they it didn't win anything during the academy awards. Man, I definitely say one of the best movie's I watched by far; great message behind it as well as acting.

On the other hand though, Alice In Wonderland sucked.

Okay, sleep. Or I might miss another alarm.

Expectations vs Reality

500 days of Summer - Expectations vs Reality from G. on Vimeo.

You know, usually I don't post stuff from others, but when I do, its probably something. (BTW, I love this movie) Don't know if You still visit, but happy belated birthday. Sorry for not wishing you in any other way, because I don't want to know that you won't reply, but now that i realised, i guess i'll never know anyhow
because sometimes expectations don't always align with reality. Best of luck with life. See yer.

"When faced with two choices, simply toss a coin. It works not because it settles the question for you, but because, in that brief moment when the coin is in the air, you suddenly know what you are hoping for." [Minimal]

I Chose Flight

Okay, Airshow pics finally up (Sorry for the lag Zi Yang, I got lazy ><) Haha.

Airshow was pretty good I guess, but arial performance was pretty crappy in my opinion. I thought there would be something more exciting, or multiple planes at least but ohwell! At least i managed to get some pretty good pictures anyway.



Definitely one of my fav shots. Pity they keep showing the bottom to the audience for who knows what reason.



Likewise here. There's something i really like about planes though; the way a whole chunk of metal can actually stay up in the air and at the same time give you such an awesome view. (Well i did try for pilots for NS, but fail luh. Water is still my element i guess! Suits me perfectly fine.) Damn, i love window seats on airplane flights. That's why i enjoy holidays: the flight, the holiday, the flight back, and yeah, the transits.



(On second thought. They really look like toys up there.)

There's something about transits which i enjoy somehow. (I know people hate it sometimes but i love it somehow) It always feels as though time freezes when you're in transit. Not like time freezing, but pseudo time freezing i guess. I think its because of the different timezones in different countries; like it was day in your country when you left, and while transiting, its still day, even after hours on the plane.

Whatever the case, its something a bit hard to explain, but transits somehow give me time to think. Just grab a latte/frappe/macchiato/whatever they have at Starbucks or something and sit around and think about life and whatever random thoughts come to mind while drawing some random pictures/reading some random book. Its really peaceful somehow; you're sitting around sipping coffee with your mind in deep thought while doing what you feel like doing. All while everyone seems to be rushing about for the next flight/last minute gifts/food/toilet. Makes it feel like you're in control of your own time and target.

Hell, you'll look like someone jet lagged/stoned/drugged out on sleeping pills and desperate for coffee to keep awake/finish up some assignment or book while thinking.

But hey, having the feeling that you have time on a leash feels amazingly calming somehow. You don't really get that everyday.

Okay, i'm back. I've stopped digressing. Too bad transits don't come everyday.









Love this few shots too. Going, going, gone. A lot like some things in life.



The grounded stuff seemed more impressive though. Somehow they planes always look just average when you're sitting at the terminal gate, but up close they're really much more stunning.

Speaking of which, 



Chrome, when used sparingly and properly makes things a heck lot more beautiful. (Sorry for all those close ups, i think its much nicer that way somehow. Most of my full view shots had too many random people about ><)







(Okay luh, after the 4th one, its probably like unhealthy obsession. Probably explains why I sprayed a chrome coloured pattern on my paddle. Sadly the chrome isn't as shiny and reflective. Can't see the clouds on them. Just blurry stuff )

(I feel damn cheated. lol)



(I thought i'd look something like that)



(Or at least something shinier like this)





Australian airlines, military style.



Rare helicopter take off right in front of us!





(I just realised this looks like some photo they use in those RSAF advertisments. Heh)



Well that's all i guess. (Actually got quite a lot of shots, but most look like crap, or looked awesome then, but terrible on the com)

Thanks for the free tickets Zi Yang!

So lately, nothing much to do, and i can honestly say its getting pretty darn boring waiting for army sometimes. A real pain in my opinion. I think it would have been a better idea to get it done all in one shot. Well, but at least gonna get driving lessons soon i guess, and Chinese New Year coming up (together with Valentine's Day, but not much to bother about that this year). Hopefully it would make life alot more exciting.

I could do with something to look forward to.

I should start drawing more. MORE.

EDIT: (I need a new blogskin. Medium size doesn't do those pictures justice. Need more space!)

I Just Had An Afterthought

Actually. Nevermind about it.

Okay Brian, do something more productive with your time!

(Note to self: Upload Airshow pictures later. After editing.)

It's Been...

...Months since i last posted (Bad lag due to the month long trip to Hungary and all the applications to places and all the distractions which come along with the discovery of free time ever since the end of school and JC life).

Hungary turned out pretty well! Going there definitely helped both training wise and for experience. Teaches you alot how to fight. And here's a bunch of photos! Could have taken more though, but training most of the time makes it hard to carry the camera around and sometimes you'll be too dead tired to do anything else.

Pictures (Possibly) in order. This are the better ones i think. Because Flickr has its 100mb limit. ):



On the way to Vac from the airport. I love this shot so i shall make it damn big. Almost like flying.

Considering the fact that i've not updated since Hungary, looks like i've missed out Christmas and New Year posts. Ouch. (Laziness is getting back into your bonessss).



Part of Vac. Its a quiet little place there, with nice people and all. Hot wine and Milka chocolates! I miss the food there. Nevermind, unrelated with photo.



Love the streets there too. They are nice and have this aura of coziness. And they got those old cars too! (I know Lada sucks but i think they look nice somehow)



And here's how the city hall looks like. Old-ish but really beautiful somehow. The white building there is the church, but sadly couldn't get a proper shot of the inside because of my loud shutter and terrible handling of lighting D: The interior is jaw dropping, i swear.



A pretty flower in a vase. At the restaurant where we had our meals in almost everyday. Its a warm little restaurant in some underground cellar (or bunker?) which had brick walls like castles and dim yellow lights. And the food was damn good. Haha.



Coach's bro was nice enough to give us a tour of their local fire station which he works in. He has two cute daughters too.

And no. one is a few months old? (I think) And the other is 3 years old.



Of course alot of time to explore, for example the many playgrounds all over the place. They got awesome swings. (Okay luh, ordinary swings, but Singapore seems to be lacking those so whatever :P)

Oh oh, and we went cross country skiing too! But i don't have photos of those. I make a lousy photographer sometimes.




And of course, coach's very fat dog, Pocak. He's damn smart though. Coach says all he does is eat, sleep and play, which is why he is so fat. So he got to climb up the mountain with us. (I've got mountain pics though! Which i will spam in the next few posts. Or next month. When my Flickr account quota is reset.



And at the local train station in Vac. We didn't always train. We had sightseeing too...



...to Budapest! I love this shot too. Budapest is a nice sort of place, with some really awesome architecture too. They have their version of Singapore's open air market too, where they sell a whole assortment of stuff, from food and paprika to toys and cutlery. Except their ones aren't too open, but in a enclosed shopping centre like place due to the seasonal weathers.



Here's an edited version. Like one of Suzie's strange pictures with words.

Shoot all the panorama's seem better big, so click them!



The Parliament house here



The view from the same place. It was chilly there.



And one of the statues there with the bright blue sky



And some random awesome graffiti on the way up!



We also went trekking on the free days where we couldn't ski at first because of the lack of snow at times



The view from the castle at the top of a huge mountain/hill



Hero Square, before we went to the mass hot bath over there in Budapest, which was awesome anyhow. Its like a massive relaxing pool with hot water in the open. During a chilly winter night. Too bad Singapore doesn't have one of those. Haha.



And of course, I miss the snow. Pity Singapore doesn't have seasons. Heh.

Well better (very) late than never. I guess i could start thinking of month-after-new-year resolutions at the moment too.

So this is how it goes,
Well I.
I would have never known

2009 has been a pretty strange year both good and bad i guess. Actually now, thinking about it, JC years seem to be the ones which teach you the most. And i'm beginning to feel that with the older you get, the more you learn, doesn't seem to make things alot easier in certain ways. Sometimes i get this feeling that there were some things which i could have done better, more different, in JC, but when i think about it again, maybe its those things which i've learnt alot more from than anything else.

That day i went back to school to chat a bit with the teachers since swimming training at NUS was pretty nearby (Yes, there is swimming training for canoeing now. The Past seems to have a sense of humor.). Walking into school was much more nostalgic than i had imagined. For the first time, it wasn't the kind of feeling you get when walking into school every morning during the past 2 years; the kind where you walk in with a sense that there's a day's work to be completed, there's a favourite lesson you're looking forward to (Art!), there's a terrible training after school when you're dead tired, but you still go do it anyway because its something you must do (Well some of it you don't want to do of course). Instead it feels like you've done all that; there's no sense of rush or dread of deadlines, but at the same time, it makes you feel kinda empty. The kind of feeling you get when suddenly you realise, you have no more guide-to-life school schedule, no more aims, particularly one which i like, quoting Aiman on facebook:

"i miss the days when NS meant National Schools"

which is part of the reason why i decided (with a slight loss of common sense) to join the 36km Singapore Canoe Marathon just a few days after Hungary. At least its something to make me work for.

While sitting about in the art room and admiring the pieces of the current batch of year 6s and at the same time watching them rush around (A few of them asking me for wisdom and guidance which was rather awkward, considering that there's alot of things in art which i still wonder how i managed to get done), it took me some time to finally come to the conclusion that i'm gonna miss school. ALOT.

No more sleeping over in school for art

Last minute rushing with art buddies too,

Cycling the corridors at night,

Looking for the right moment to talk to certain people,

Drawing in lessons (I think my most creative ideas were inspired by those rather humdrum lectures and lessons of certain subjects)

Prata in school (Food will always be an integral part of school life. In all walks of life actually)

Free periods (Though i got alot of free time now, i think free time is sweeter when you don't get it so often)

Training for National Schools (In my opinion, the most nerve wrecking and important of all competitions in my school life)

Sitting around the pond bitching about life.

etc etc.

Haha I miss school basically. Freaking nostalgic post.

So back to the past. I guess i learnt alot. (Probably in order?)

Not to love, then look for what you want, but rather the other way round; maybe i'm wrong but who knows? I'm still learning though.

Stones taught me to fly
Love taught to me lie


To think before speaking, not speak before thinking, because words aren't forgotten easily.

Not to be overconfident with what you have, but with enough confidence to know that you have it. To be satisfied with what you've got, instead of being jealous with what you don't.

Probably the hardest was learning when its time to let go, and then again, fighting for what you don't want to lose. And again, learning not to keep just because its there.

I learnt not to hate without knowing, because people are alot different from what others portray them to be. And at the same time finding people you can rely on when the going gets tough.

Strangely, its not the experience in doing art which taught me quite a bit, but the experience which comes with doing art; learning not to shy away, have confidence and courage to do the unexpected, because sometimes the random shit like this can turn out pretty good.

Enjoying what you do, because it makes a difference with how you do it; along the way learning that hard work pays and its not too late to try.

Probably after all those up and downs, realising that Adidas might actually be right somehow

I Hear The Jingle Of Bells In The Near Future, I Think

I just realised today, that it has been 3 years or so since my family last set up a Christmas tree. Its kinda funny how it didn't struck me till yesterday that we kinda lack the Christmas spirit at home. We haven't really got any decorations put up, let alone minor little things like the stocking or the Christmas angel hanging around in the house. Its kinda strange how the house seems so bare of any festive mood as compared to my friend's house, where there are Christmas decorations hanging from every end of the house.

We need a major makeover.

Actually its the kind of expected outcome i guess, considering how we hardly ever get Christmas presents for each other ( D: Yes terrible D:) and as a kid, Christmas equates to asking your parents to get a certain something you want, instead of the actual hinting of what you want and hoping your parents would guess and get you just that. Honestly, I like that randomness alot more, as compared to having a list of wants which you would be pretty certain of getting. Come to think of it, I really don't know what i want for Christmas this time round. Okay maybe i do, but its a little more of the intangible sort of thing. On the side note, I need a new sketchbook, preferably something with more drawing space and can handle watercolour. So come on mom and dad, if you have found out about this blog through sis or stalking me on facebook, get your kids something different! Something pretty much out of the blue. Not something we tell you we want, but rather something you think we want, or guess we want. It makes giving alot more fun and alot more exciting.

I don't really like knowing that i've gotten what i ask for sometimes, because for the past few years, i realised that it doesn't seem so special anymore.

Which is also why i love handmade stuff, even if its a little note or drawing of sorts. Its the sort of thing that can't really be reproduced or easily found, because something handmade takes more than just a couple of minutes to decide. It's not like you can easily pick it off the shelves or something, and considering time is limited, handmade stuff sure is a lot more special somehow. Same for surprises. I actually keep those receipts and candles from birthday lunches or dinners. Heh.

So maybe this time round i shall start by getting my family a late Christmas present from Hungary (Since i won't be around till 12th Jan. I'll be missing the IB results. After much thinking, that sucks. I prefer facing my fears sometimes.). Maybe start getting for others too. I guess it has to start somewhere eh?

Anyway, today i found another random drawing while clearing the mess of a shelf i have above my laptop. Some sketch i did during a Chinese B exam. Funny things.

Float Like A Cannonball

The post about it is on Tumblr, link in orange above!

Bloop Bloop Bloop

Fish Bag

Some paper bag i decorated for angel and mortal during church camp. 
Lately time has been passing really fast. Eh. 

I Can Haz Physicz

Today, while jumping down the stairs, dad told me that i shouldn't coz the weight on the stairs could be up to 10 times more. Immediately i said to myself, F = ma; W = mg

Haha. Good times. Funny how you miss hell when its gone.

Something's Better, On The Other Side

BACK FROM CHURCH CAMP!

Anyway camp was pretty good. All about community and support for one another. We had really few J2s about, so they mixed us all up with the p6s to J1s and grouped us together. Turned out I got a really quiet group, but in the end it worked out pretty fine! Especially for the activities like the all-about-the-place-race (Sorry can't really remember the name of the funny race. Jumban-something. Heh). We ditched a majority of the games station to get position points and it paid off i guess! We got 3rd, which was really unexpected but the best part was we finally got to open up and communicate really well. First time i had to lead a group all the way too. Not too bad, but I could probably try to open my mouth a bit more or something. Haha. Too quiet sometimes i swear. Too quiet Brian, too quiet.

I need guts to do crazy stuff, but then again. Dilemma. (Anyway, if we get to plan a church camp next year, can i design the shirt? :D)

 Lately haven't been taking many photographs, sigh. But nevermind! I shall try to make it up with more drawings and stuff! Got alot of things to think about too. Like whether i should keep canoeing during NS. After NS. Part time job (Priorities really makes things difficult sometimes. Haha). Then there's still getting my ass down to Ubi to sign up for driving. And making sure i got the stuff i need for the trip to Hungary. And as always, there's life. And love and why.

Switchfoot. Nevermind, random stuff like this enters my mind sometimes.

Back to html! Need to renew library book soon though.

Anyway;

Arrows & Flowers

(I'm just a little bit caught in the middle, life is a maze and love is a riddle, la la la-la-la, la la, la-la-la, lala lala la.)

I wanna play l4d2.

Church Camp Tomorrow! Be RIght Back To Post More Soon!

DRAWINGS!

Topsy Turvy

Ah damn tiring day. Must have really drained myself out during training. Or maybe its just all in the head. Currently, the free time after the end of school haven't been too memorable, its mostly finding stuff to do to keep myself entertained. But even then, after a while it gets really really repetitive.

Can't wait for church camp and Hungary though. hopefully it would free things up a bit more. Sorry if i have been rather moody in some ways lately, kinda thinking about alot of things since there's no more IB and school work to distract myself.

Things to do this holidays with your free time. I just realised, it isn't really a holiday since we're kinda out of school. Its like limbo between school and real life. Like at the gates of Eden and the world out there, except Eden is school and while walking out, this one has this huge billboard sign with bright spotlights illuminating it saying "Welcome to the Real World"

"She said to me, condescendingly, take a seat, take your life, plot it out in black and white"

You know, i think i can get an inkling of what Adam and Eve felt like while they were being barred from Eden, except this one doesn't involve pissing off God or introducing all the burdens of mankind. Yeah, not that big an issue, other than the environment change and the real issue of cash and figuring out what you want to do next time. Suddenly, IB results seem to add to the anxieties; so much for worry on the day itself.

Anyway. Things to do (My digression is strange):

1. Learn figure drawing
2. Take more photographs. (Actually will get a chance in Hungary. Or maybe i should take a walk along the highway again.)
3. Learn programming (HTML, CSS, C++, Phython, etc; Hell I don't know where to start so picking up a how-to book which shouts out "FOR NOOBS!" shall make my decision. HTML, XHTML and CSS it is then)
4. Draw more (Yeah, its a different idea from figure drawing)
5. Level up guitar skills
6. Driving, Brian, driving (Get your ass to the nearest driving center to the house)
   
7. Get a part time job for January till enlistment. Or internship.
   

Any recommendations for No. 6 is good info; suggestions or links?

Other than that; on the other blog:

Ice

I think the notebook scans are more interesting. Gonna switch back to that soon, after i clear up all the lost drawings of yesteryear's.

Nightfall

Nightfall (Click for Tumblr post on this drawing)

I Could Use Somebody

Lately i've discovered the rather intriguing activity of rummaging through old storage boxes to find old drawings of mine and other little bits and pieces of the past.

Heh strange things IB afterlife does to you.

Found loads of old stuff, back since primary 1! Those were the times of jotter books with huge writing space between lines and a blank page on the left for drawing pictures (because creativity and scribblings were more abundant back then!). Found loads of old birthday cards too, and the farewell card my SJI class gave to me before i left for ACS(I) in sec 1. The smell of old paper is really nice in a way; brings back loads of memories. Hopefully i can find more drawings, especially that drawing of the tree in blue-black and orange which got me started on pen work. I remember i drew that in the school diary in sec 1 just after the page where you write your details and personal information. The past is a rather strange thing. Sometimes i seem to remember it so clearly as though it was yesterday. Kinda scary how fast time flies too. Anyway, gonna raid the top of the cupboard tomorrow! I think there is kindergarten stuff up there to be found!

Anyway, scans of the drawings i've found on the other blog on Tumblr! I set that up coz i kinda wanna have a proper organisation of my art stuff online. My blogger is getting really messy and the tags seem to be everywhere.




Heart Of Fire(Click for Tumblr post on this drawing)

I say, its getting quite lonely, more so when school is over.

EDIT:
A pretty nice poem.

XIII. "When I was one-and-twenty..." 
by A.E. Housman

When I was one-and-twenty
I heard a wise man say,
'Give crowns and pounds and guineas
But not your heart away;
Give pearls away and rubies
But keep your fancy free.'
But I was one-and-twenty,
No use to talk to me.

When I was one-and-twenty
I heard him say again,
'The heart out of the bosom
Was never given in vain;
'Tis paid with sighs a plenty
And sold for endless rue.'
And I am two-and-twenty,
And oh, 'tis true, 'tis true.