#31

I woke up

Resolutions. I've never really made them before. (Or rather most prematurely failed; they didn't even take off, one or two made it to half a year and the rest just got dropped along the twist and turns of life. Sigh

So this year i shall attempt to do something. Wake up and make sure i don't lose myself again. Set a proper goal, stop smelling too many roses. Ohwell.

#1 Be a better person
Because a better person i want to be. I screwed up so many times this year. Seriously. I don't want to screw up again. Especially for you.

#2 Study hard
Because i want to give my teachers a heart attack when they see my extreme improvements. And partly because i don't want to be some suck shit at studies but can do sports. I wanna be super balanced. I want to prove to your mother

#3 Read more bible, pray more prayers, have more faith, help more people
Because a good habit which started on a night of our sec 2 OEP in Desaru just disappeared at the start of the year. And i promised myself then, Sigh. Brian Brian you got so much to fix this time around. For the first time this year, i raced with fear. I never feared at all for the past 3 years.This should be number #1 actually.

#4 Stop procrastinating
Because it sucks.

Everything seems pretty standard (Like everyone else sometimes) oh but i have more.

#5 Have some guts
When you want to do something, just go do it. No point thinking so much and not doing it in the end.

#6 Face your fears
Because if they are not around this corner, they may be around the next.

#7 You, Becky

And what i learned this year, alot. really alot more than any other year. I learned to trust, not to break trust. Convince myself to do something if i want something instead of wishful thinking, learned to love someone with really all you've got,learned to listen. And learning about consequences. And uncertainty.

I don't want a new year. Or i want a new year where at least i know something is gonna go right. I want something to look forward to. I want you becky

Well at least there are fireworks today. You told me something like the person you spend the new year with is the person you will be with for the year. I want to be right by your side when the clock strikes 12.
Fireworks day. Sigh.

and wished that i was dead

1st Roll (And 1st Step Into Debt X) )

My first roll of film on halloween (but no i dont celebrate halloween. or maybe i never really bothered before. haha) Looks bad :S

My my, Brian needs to learn how to focus.

And i need a negative scanner. For now i'll be satisfied by sticking the negatives on the bathroom window and taking photos of them.

Note to self: Use more white paper. Or else you will keep getting those weird pixel shapes from the window.

Everytime Brian shoots a roll, he becomes poorer by 7 dollars.
My hobby is getting expensive ><

G Is For Green Grass

I like green. Its this nice calming colour
Hello! Can you see this?
And catchy too.
I love you X)
My blog needs more picture. The colour is draining from it and i think it may die if i don't do anything

:O

2nd Person Perspective

Sharp beams of light enter the room through the gaps in the curtains where slivers of sunrise shine through. And pierces your eyes. You turn away and sink your face beneath the pillows. Morning can wait. Sometimes sleep is much more comforting than knowing another day has come. Another chance. Redemption. Redemption can wait too.

(Maybe redemption has stories to tell)

Alarm goes off. Loud drumbeats. Let's Dance to Joy Division. It rings through the room, rings in your ears, and it rings out a tune of your situation. You don't feel like dancing though. Neither do you want to get up.

(Get up)

You ignore the signs of morning, you ignore the sounds of awakening. Unaware your hand reaches out over your head and disturbs the inhabitants of the bedside table, clawing for the source of noise, grabbing it. Yank. Scatter.

(Welcome to the planet)

Indefinite silence.

(Welcome to existence)

Phone in hand, cold and silenced. But the drums still beat in your head, the voice still rings in your ears. Not the song, but a different voice. Goodbye sleep, hello life.

(Everyone waits for you now)

You blink out the sand in your eyes, and peer out from the cracks of the pillows. And everything else piled on your head. Blinded for a moment or two, you scan the floor, examining the wreckage you left behind in your quest for silence.

(Welcome to the fallout)

The stray wire of your phone charger hangs from the edge of the table. Like a rope. Your book lies face up. After Dark. Your neatly folded glasses the night before, now opened up wide, lighted by a beam of morning sunshine. Your Bible is on the floor open. Notes and letters of different kinds peek out from beneath the pages of the bible; the thin sheets seemed almost glowing under the light of dawn. Psalms 121:1 catches your eye. An old reminder.

(Between who you are and who you could be)

You push away the pillows. Push away the thoughts in your head. Heavy, but you still push. And lie flat on your back with your now awake eyes tracing the sunlight on your ceiling, which are sharp and clear, pushing away the shadows which once turned the ceiling into a starless night. Suddenly it occurs to you the ringing is gone. The lights may be bright, but they sure aren't wrong. It's time to get up. Hello life. Maybe today might change for the better.

(Between how it is and how it should be,)

The phone buzzes to life in your hands. You sit up like you always do every morning, but this time there is a difference. Looking at the phone, you smile. Sunshine.

(Salvation is here)

You reach for the bible on the floor, read through its pages once more, before placing it back on the bedside table where it belongs. Right beside you. You pick up your glasses and put them on, and the blur of a world becomes clear, before picking up your book. After Dark. Picking up the pieces that fell from the table.

(I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor)

Maybe today might change for the better. You start humming a song you learnt on guitar.

(I dare you to move)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yesterday was Halloween. Halloween was magical X)

Not the fairies, or vampires or whatever other costumes you can think of.

But You (:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Today. I promised You (: I love you, yes i do

(:

I felt like i was given wings in the ocean where everyone swims with fins

Then you reminded me flying was so much more fun

Thank you (: I love you

Try Looking At Things From A Different Angle?

Let's Dance To Joy Division

Dad was cranky in the car, but i saw a beautiful morning sky,

(...and everything seems the same...)

SAT was a bore, but at least its something new,

(...that changed this little boy's brain...)

I'm overspending, but i enjoy my food,

(...and celebrate the irony...)

Physics sounded bad, but at least i'm not the only one,

(...everything is going wrong...)

I'm feeling lazy, but it keeps me stress free :D

(...but we're so happy)

Econs was bad, but we all passed,

(...'cos this could all go so wrong...)

Results on Friday, but i got 2 more free days,

(...but we're just so happy...)

Took a crowded bus to training, but at least i got some time to sleep and think,

(...grab your purse and take a taxi...)

Tired out today, but building my stamina,

(...and lead you through the dancefloor...)

Had a bad training, but loads of fun anyway,

(...go ask for joy division...)

♫

♫

Saw you smile, made my day (:

(...so happy, yeah, we're so happy)

X)

After Dark

Remember that time i said i should start reading again?

Yes! I finally did.

Okay this book isn't exactly those thick novels kind of thing (Thicker than Siddhartha, thinner than Huck Finn. Hah), but it was pretty good. Its about what happens in Japan from late night to early morning, revolving around mainly two characters. Deals with the theme of alienation and it is pretty interesting how the various events that happen seem to revolve around each other, from the main character, to the chinese prostitute who got beaten up and etc. Interestingly, it follows the happening of the events in sort of a "real time", which reflects the idea of the story happening from late night to morning and...

...

... (Why am i writing in English A1 style?)

...Lets just say its a damn nice book.
I promise you (: yes i do
I'm hardcore for art :D

My Poison

Hah, long time no update. FINALLY PICTURES.
Take care you!
Now that, is my poison, when i'm stressed, i make little tea cups of multicoloured acrylic and then i drink them.
Silly X)
Kidding.

Nah i don't, i just paint. (But seriously sometimes they look drinkable. Like fruit juice or cocktails. Okay i spend too much time in the art room ><) Anyway yes, i became an anti social freak today (okay not only me. Faye, Caroline and Valencia too. Haha freaks X)) and instead of going with the class for ice skating and sushi i went to do art (Ah but i did go for lunch with the canoeing people :|) But after the maths paper, i don't think i would like to spend my time on ice thinking of the depressing day and crashing into kids (But ice skating is fun anyway), or stuffing myself with sushi. So when all else fails its back to art. I don't consider art a normal subject, its the only subject i probably can spend the whole day working on. Its like a hobby, an interest, a joyful subject (Please remind me about this post if i complain of lack of time to finish art next year). Its like when you start painting, suddenly everything is just forgotten and you end up in this strange little bubble of you, your canvas, your brush and your paint. And of course the random crap talk with fellow art people X) Its not like other subjects where every darn thing is the same, like maths (too damn calculated) amd science (too damn analyzed). Art gives you this nice little huge space in where you spill the colourful little bits of things in your head called ideas and you use your creativity to form whatever you want (YES WHATEVER YOU WANT!), no formulas, no memorizing (But of course IB art is flawed due to time constrains and the demand for you to do something that has meaning and a theme and must be something the teachers (Thou shalt name no names on the internet) want. If not i'll be drawing little pen drawings in colourful notebooks X) Art is a really cool poison Hardcore art for the next 4 days!

Cows And Economics

21 Economic Models Explained with Cows

SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbor.

COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk.

NAZISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.

The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk
away ...

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.

SURREALISM
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.

ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of
credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a
debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four
cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a
Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells
the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one
more.
You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States , leaving you
with nine cows.
No balance sheet provided with the release.
The public then buys your bull.

A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want
three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and
produce twenty times the milk.
You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'Cowkimon' and market it
worldwide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk
themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.

AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.


You tell them that you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the **** out of you and invade your
country.
You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of Democracy ...

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive.

[SOURCE: Jonathan MacDonald]

Found on http://markconner.typepad.com/catch_the_wind/2008/09/understanding-the-economy.html?cid=132511580#comments

~~~~~~~

You have two cows. Both produce melamine tainted milk. You ignore the fact and sell the milk. A big public outrage ensues. Countries ban the milk from your cows. You have no more white rabbit sweets. Chinese New Year will never be the same again.

Haha speaking of which, econs P2 is tomorrow. (*Ponders*)

I have two cows, i sell them and use the cash to travel the world. With you X)



Back to work :\

Brian needs to take photos. SOON