Wednesday, December 31, 2008

#31

Take A Seat

I woke up

Resolutions
. I've never really made them before. (Or rather most prematurely failed; they didn't even take off, one or two made it to half a year and the rest just got dropped along the twist and turns of life. Sigh

So this year i shall attempt to do something. Wake up and make sure i don't lose myself again. Set a proper goal, stop smelling too many roses. Ohwell.

#1 Be a better person
Because a better person i want to be. I screwed up so many times this year. Seriously. I don't want to screw up again. Especially for you.

#2 Study hard
Because i want to give my teachers a heart attack when they see my extreme improvements. And partly because i don't want to be some suck shit at studies but can do sports. I wanna be super balanced.
I want to prove to your mother

#3 Read more bible, pray more prayers, have more faith, help more people
Because a good habit which started on a night of our sec 2 OEP in Desaru just disappeared at the start of the year. And i promised myself then, Sigh. Brian Brian you got so much to fix this time around. For the first time this year, i raced with fear. I never feared at all for the past 3 years.This should be number #1 actually.

#4 Stop procrastinating
Because it sucks.

Everything seems pretty standard (Like everyone else sometimes) oh but i have more.

#5 Have some guts
When you want to do something, just go do it. No point thinking so much and not doing it in the end.

#6 Face your fears
Because if they are not around this corner, they may be around the next.

#7 You
, Becky

And what i learned this year, alot. really alot more than any other year. I learned to trust, not to break trust. Convince myself to do something if i want something instead of wishful thinking, learned to love someone with really all you've got,learned to listen. And learning about consequences. And uncertainty.

I don't want a new year. Or i want a new year where at least i know something is gonna go right. I want something to look forward to.
I want you becky

Well at least there are fireworks today.
You told me something like the person you spend the new year with is the person you will be with for the year. I want to be right by your side when the clock strikes 12.
Fireworks day. Sigh.

and wished that i was dead