Since i'm going off to Hungary tomorrow and won't be back till after Christmas, New Year, and results day, I shall post a photo today too since i haven't been posting anything other than drawings which i have been doing in the past.
Reminds me a lot about Left 4 Dead 2. Okay i've never really been a gamer. Like someone in canoeing said today, "I'd never thought of it coming from you (When i said lets go lan and play l4d2)." But its a nice game. releases stress.
Anyway ever felt like you've self destructed before? Well i guess this is one of those times. More accurately, this is the one time it has ever happened and got me really bad.
Okay forget this whole paragraph which i typed and deleted.
I'm indecisive, that's all. I hope this holiday/training camp in Hungary solves something. If i die in the mountains or something, at least solve something before that.
Screw that
Anyway be right back guys. In a month. I can honestly say i would regret not going for results day after much deliberation. Its one of those moments you get once in a lifetime. Alright i'm a little cranky today i admit. Not the best time to type anything. Merry Christmas, happy holidays, happy new year and all the best for IB results day people. It's early and i may blog in Hungary, but what the heck.
I just realised today, that it has been 3 years or so since my family last set up a Christmas tree. Its kinda funny how it didn't struck me till yesterday that we kinda lack the Christmas spirit at home. We haven't really got any decorations put up, let alone minor little things like the stocking or the Christmas angel hanging around in the house. Its kinda strange how the house seems so bare of any festive mood as compared to my friend's house, where there are Christmas decorations hanging from every end of the house.
We need a major makeover.
Actually its the kind of expected outcome i guess, considering how we hardly ever get Christmas presents for each other ( D: Yes terrible D:) and as a kid, Christmas equates to asking your parents to get a certain something you want, instead of the actual hinting of what you want and hoping your parents would guess and get you just that. Honestly, I like that randomness alot more, as compared to having a list of wants which you would be pretty certain of getting. Come to think of it, I really don't know what i want for Christmas this time round. Okay maybe i do, but its a little more of the intangible sort of thing. On the side note, I need a new sketchbook, preferably something with more drawing space and can handle watercolour. So come on mom and dad, if you have found out about this blog through sis or stalking me on facebook, get your kids something different! Something pretty much out of the blue. Not something we tell you we want, but rather something you think we want, or guess we want. It makes giving alot more fun and alot more exciting.
I don't really like knowing that i've gotten what i ask for sometimes, because for the past few years, i realised that it doesn't seem so special anymore.
Which is also why i love handmade stuff, even if its a little note or drawing of sorts. Its the sort of thing that can't really be reproduced or easily found, because something handmade takes more than just a couple of minutes to decide. It's not like you can easily pick it off the shelves or something, and considering time is limited, handmade stuff sure is a lot more special somehow. Same for surprises. I actually keep those receipts and candles from birthday lunches or dinners. Heh.
So maybe this time round i shall start by getting my family a late Christmas present from Hungary (Since i won't be around till 12th Jan. I'll be missing the IB results. After much thinking, that sucks. I prefer facing my fears sometimes.). Maybe start getting for others too. I guess it has to start somewhere eh?
Anyway, today i found another random drawing while clearing the mess of a shelf i have above my laptop. Some sketch i did during a Chinese B exam. Funny things.
Bugger, my knee injury is back. And i think i lost my specs. Haha this sucks.
(Anyway, why is it so hard to put a tag cloud in Tumblr?)
Hungary in a few days! Need to buy your winter wear so you won't freeze in the mountains! And driving! And library books! Pffttt, things need to be done Brian!
Today, while jumping down the stairs, dad told me that i shouldn't coz the weight on the stairs could be up to 10 times more. Immediately i said to myself, F = ma; W = mg
Haha. Good times. Funny how you miss hell when its gone.
Anyway camp was pretty good. All about community and support for one another. We had really few J2s about, so they mixed us all up with the p6s to J1s and grouped us together. Turned out I got a really quiet group, but in the end it worked out pretty fine! Especially for the activities like the all-about-the-place-race (Sorry can't really remember the name of the funny race. Jumban-something. Heh). We ditched a majority of the games station to get position points and it paid off i guess! We got 3rd, which was really unexpected but the best part was we finally got to open up and communicate really well. First time i had to lead a group all the way too. Not too bad, but I could probably try to open my mouth a bit more or something. Haha. Too quiet sometimes i swear. Too quiet Brian, too quiet.
I need guts to do crazy stuff, but then again. Dilemma. (Anyway, if we get to plan a church camp next year, can i design the shirt? :D)
Lately haven't been taking many photographs, sigh. But nevermind! I shall try to make it up with more drawings and stuff! Got alot of things to think about too. Like whether i should keep canoeing during NS. After NS. Part time job (Priorities really makes things difficult sometimes. Haha). Then there's still getting my ass down to Ubi to sign up for driving. And making sure i got the stuff i need for the trip to Hungary. And as always, there's life. And love and why.
Switchfoot. Nevermind, random stuff like this enters my mind sometimes.
Back to html! Need to renew library book soon though.
Ah damn tiring day. Must have really drained myself out during training. Or maybe its just all in the head. Currently, the free time after the end of school haven't been too memorable, its mostly finding stuff to do to keep myself entertained. But even then, after a while it gets really really repetitive.
Can't wait for church camp and Hungary though. hopefully it would free things up a bit more. Sorry if i have been rather moody in some ways lately, kinda thinking about alot of things since there's no more IB and school work to distract myself.
Things to do this holidays with your free time. I just realised, it isn't really a holiday since we're kinda out of school. Its like limbo between school and real life. Like at the gates of Eden and the world out there, except Eden is school and while walking out, this one has this huge billboard sign with bright spotlights illuminating it saying "Welcome to the Real World"
"She said to me, condescendingly, take a seat, take your life, plot it out in black and white"
You know, i think i can get an inkling of what Adam and Eve felt like while they were being barred from Eden, except this one doesn't involve pissing off God or introducing all the burdens of mankind. Yeah, not that big an issue, other than the environment change and the real issue of cash and figuring out what you want to do next time. Suddenly, IB results seem to add to the anxieties; so much for worry on the day itself.
Anyway. Things to do (My digression is strange):
Learn figure drawing
Take more photographs. (Actually will get a chance in Hungary. Or maybe i should take a walk along the highway again.)
Learn programming (HTML, CSS, C++, Phython, etc; Hell I don't know where to start so picking up a how-to book which shouts out "FOR NOOBS!" shall make my decision. HTML, XHTML and CSS it is then)
Draw more (Yeah, its a different idea from figure drawing)
Level up guitar skills
Driving, Brian, driving (Get your ass to the nearest driving center to the house)
Get a part time job for January till enlistment. Or internship.
Any recommendations for No. 6 is good info; suggestions or links?
Lately i've discovered the rather intriguing activity of rummaging through old storage boxes to find old drawings of mine and other little bits and pieces of the past.
Heh strange things IB afterlife does to you.
Found loads of old stuff, back since primary 1! Those were the times of jotter books with huge writing space between lines and a blank page on the left for drawing pictures (because creativity and scribblings were more abundant back then!). Found loads of old birthday cards too, and the farewell card my SJI class gave to me before i left for ACS(I) in sec 1. The smell of old paper is really nice in a way; brings back loads of memories. Hopefully i can find more drawings, especially that drawing of the tree in blue-black and orange which got me started on pen work. I remember i drew that in the school diary in sec 1 just after the page where you write your details and personal information. The past is a rather strange thing. Sometimes i seem to remember it so clearly as though it was yesterday. Kinda scary how fast time flies too. Anyway, gonna raid the top of the cupboard tomorrow! I think there is kindergarten stuff up there to be found!
Anyway, scans of the drawings i've found on the other blog on Tumblr! I set that up coz i kinda wanna have a proper organisation of my art stuff online. My blogger is getting really messy and the tags seem to be everywhere.
Heart Of Fire(Click for Tumblr post on this drawing)
I say, its getting quite lonely, more so when school is over.
EDIT:
A pretty nice poem.
XIII. "When I was one-and-twenty..." by A.E. Housman
When I was one-and-twenty
I heard a wise man say,
'Give crowns and pounds and guineas
But not your heart away;
Give pearls away and rubies
But keep your fancy free.'
But I was one-and-twenty,
No use to talk to me.
When I was one-and-twenty
I heard him say again,
'The heart out of the bosom
Was never given in vain;
'Tis paid with sighs a plenty
And sold for endless rue.'
And I am two-and-twenty,
And oh, 'tis true, 'tis true.
Well! Since i still got my tumblr account, i guess i shall use it as a site to store my drawings then! Which means i've got something to do over the long break before NS. heh
She acts like summer and walks like rain, reminds me that there's time to change.
You know, after prom, i've come to realise the importance of having a point and shoot, as well as how in the last moments of it, we try to capture everything we can just to experience it one more time. Don't hate because you failed, but learn from what went wrong.
Don't hide what you want to say because when you realise what you want, it might just be a little too late.
I just realised, we forgot to take a class photo. Haha
Oh mannnnn i'm gonna miss you people.
Pictures on facebook and flickr, steal-able and high quality!
EDIT: sorry, on zooomr
Sigh. I make alot of wrong choices.
Hey, hey, hey
Hey God, there are quite a few things i would like to rewind or correct in the future if i have a chance; any chance?
Finally done with the IB exams and ended on an awesome note in my opinion! To be honest, physics was pretty good, econs too (It bloody hell better be, i finished the damn ten year series for physics, plus the extra remedial crap)
But then again, its a funny little sad feeling. I guess its missing the people around!
: /
Okay on the brighter note, finally have time to be free, and the first thing i do is waltz off to kino to get books (American Gods by Neil Gaiman and The Fixer: A Story From Sarajevo by Joe Sacco; in awesome black and white graphic art!) and of course to training at Kallang (Damn i miss feeling like shit after training) Well that's the rather sad part about finishing with an odd combi, you've got no one to share the joy with, hence the solo journey to bookland.
Anyway, 5 things i learnt from IB (Yes we did learn shit from IB, but definitely not from IP)
1) Art is no cheap/joke/easy subject
We lived with mould and rotting milk in a room so reliant on aircon for ventilation that natural air seems freaking odd. Besides that, on crazy days, we get only 3 hours of natural sunlight (1 hour during the trip to Wah Chee, 1 hour for going to the toilet, walking to the art room to print and 1 hour spent walking to and fro or riding the bike up and down the corridor wondering why the hell you didn't get anything done during the holidays.) More hardcore than your HL maths X)
Well but it was fun while it lasted. Oh, the rooftop looks really great at night. And, its possible to go with zero sleep or food and still get cracking on your work. The life of a hobo.
2) IB makes you feel invincible
After all that shit thrown at you; EE IAs TOK yada yada, its rather surprising we're all still alive and taking more shit. It's a miracle we don't have any suicides. Makes you feel invinc(IB)le indeed.
3) In one month of studying, I have done more worksheets and practices than I have done over 4 years.
Seriously. (Honestly, towards the end of the exams, i found the physics questions and econs outlines quite fun to do.)
Also, in the half a month or so of exams, I also had more sleep than i will ever get on a normal day. Some weird shit is going on.
4) Studying makes you poor
I have overspent at least 150 bucks (Not including weekly allowance) on eating out breakfast (Hotcakes!) lunch and dinner. In addition, there is the massive amount of coffee consumption too when i study in Starbucks and macs (Honestly, Starbucks coffee is shit compared to macs. All I taste is sugar. Green tea latte is nice though). Not to mention gelato and gummies.
I think i'd be rather surprised if i cut myself and didn't bleed coffee.
5) For the most important event in my life since PSLE, it is kinda odd;
How i feel really calm. Something is really wrong. I feel more nervous for a class test than i ever really did for IB exams. Then again, maybe i've been numbed after getting so low for so long. You know, whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Well not stronger in this case; more like indifferent to stress.
Beat that stress. I eat you for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Not to mention supper.
Actually, there is a lot more, but these are the ones that stand out the most. From IB, i kinda wished i figured how to efficiently study from the beginning, then i might actually have a chance to keep HL maths instead of dropping. I also figured out how to be more spontaneous for art, which is really awesome, coz i think its making me a bit more random everyday. Makes things more amusing. Besides that, get rid of work early before they come back to haunt you, and ALWAYS footnote WHILE doing your EE (That experience was no joke i swear)
Ah there, it flows better that way.
Oh oh, and IB is fun. The most fun two years of my life so far. (No. Not the work, i know i said physics was fun, but fun in a different sense) The people, the class, the teachers, and the random shit that happens while IB life goes on. I'm gonna miss it.
Aww shucks. This kind of sentimental crap always gets me.
Alright i got loads of stuff to put up and hopefully i can get this all done before the internet cuts. From art, (I know, its weeks ago but IB sucks free time out of life) and the last day of school today.
Well last day of school. Sadly.
Last year, Leemin told me that last day of school was sad. I didn't really believe. Back then in Sec 1, i couldn't wait for school to end.
Damn you time for passing so fast. There is so much left to do. So much left to say. So much left to change.
But i've kinda gave up thinking to myself that i can turn back time if i wished hard enough (Yeah i used to think that way. Like we COULD be dreaming but whatever. Ignore this ><) So what else can you do?
I say, slow down, and take everything in.
There's so much out there i swear.
P.S. Long post ahead. Click to enlarge (Actually i think you should know X))
~~~
Art Gallery
Finally! IB art is over! Sadly too actually. Now that canoeing is down, art is down; looks like 2 of my favourite things are gone. For the moment only thankfully!
Anyway the preview of the gallery on the day before the exam and exhibition.
JGoh, Lou Ee, Zhan Feng
Lou Ee, Anderson, Weekee
Mandy and Lou Ee
A bit of Fei's, Caroline, Kafoo (FINALLY, Kafoo's managed to link in the panorama. Most of the time it didn't coz it was too dark), a bit of Mandy's
Fei, Caroline, Kafoo
Caroline, Kafoo, Mandy and Fei's
Yao's and mine
Yao's
A bit of Yao's and mine (Video playing in the background! Will upload tomorrow ASAP!)
JGoh's and back to Zhan Feng.
And back to my gallery! Here's a close up of the works i have done. Hopefully i'll have time to write a short explanation for each piece but i can't promise (Stupid internet timer, check back the next day, the descriptions will be up then) The pieces are arranged in order of date they were conceived (Videos will be added soon! Check back later if you don't see it!) Videos are up!
Anyway using Zooomr for the time being coz i can't upload anything till next month coz i've hit the upload limit for Flickr
Cranes
74 x 96.5 cm
Acrylic on Plywood
Speeding
69 x 109.5 cm
Acrylic on Canvas
This Way Up
64.3 x 68.8 cm
Mixed Media (Acrylic on Paper, Acrylic on Plexiglass, Wood)
"Beauty In Living"
102 x 76 cm
Acrylic on Canvas
Construction
70 x 50 cm
Mixed Media (Watercolour on Paper, Pen on Paper, Tissue Paper, Newspaper)
Do You Know What You've Missed
61 x 184 cm
Acrylic on Canvas
Kaleidoscopic
61 x 184 cm
Mixed Media (Acrylic on Canvas, Acrylic on Tissue, Pen on Tissue)
Drive By
Digital Media
Run
92 x 61 cm
Acrylic on Canvas
Foggy
61 x 92 cm
Acylic on Canvas
Rapid Transit
61 x 207 cm
Acrylic on Canvas
Clockwork
Digital Media
Dashboard
61 x 184 cm
Acrylic on Canvas
(Wow okay that was long, and i haven't even loaded the videos yet. Still uploading on youtube. Ohwell! Looks like i'll do descriptions tomorrow. Anyway feel free to drop comments about my art, descriptions will be uploaded tomorrow!) (Descriptions another day people, IB exams first ><. The video ones are up on the youtube page though.)
I miss the art camping in the art gallery. So much stress, so much fun. And we made it! Awesome job art people. I kinda wanna go through that stressful hell again. Its really nice working day and night, feeding on sugar crackers and grapes, coffee milk and gummies. Singing out loud and knocking out on the couch, sawing random things and doing random crap. Almost falling asleep during econs paper 2.
There's so much left to learn. I learnt alot from art, i know.
How to treasure time; to see ordinary things in extraordinary ways. To keep going when everything is dragging you down, not to keep everything in out of fear, but to just sing it out loud.
Hell, can we just do this again?
~~~
The last day of school is a pretty sad thing. Its one of those days which you usually don't give shit about it because, well, it just feels like it'll never come.
But it does come and smacks you right in the face. I don't know about you, but i feel really down about it. Nostalgiaaaa. Its not about not coming back to school again. Its actually more about the things you do and the crap you go through with everyone else in the cohort; the random events (broken SAC door, throwing people in the fish pond, bouncing balls across the bridge, etc) and experiences as a class (WOW and all those buffets).
Aye. I hate losing friends the most though. No matter what they say, the fact is that sometimes some people just disappear from your radar. I hope not to many though.
Anyway midway through the last day celebrations and laughter, there's one thing i realised.
Yeap, I miss ACSI as much I miss SJI.
):
At least its not the end yet
:D
Should have taken more photos today but i guess these few will do!
6.08 and their randomness at the fountain!
Food as usual! Pizza and cake was great.
More of that
The classroom...
...and the class
Aye. Looks like the good in the year's gonna outshine the crap haha.
Tomorrow is the last day of school. Sadly. I'm gonna miss alot of the random things we've done there. Ohwell! No time for pictures lately, thanks to IB exams, which are creeping round the corner. But hopefully soon! when blogger is working fine tomorrow. The new post page seems awfully screwed up somehow.
You know, back then you used to wish school would end quick? I kinda wish it wouldn't now.
Saturday, October 3, 2009
Life suddenly becomes alot more shit without canoeing and art.
Well so i'm here in this really noisy SAC and Yao has just left for his IB art exam. Mine is in about 2 hours. Damn its both scary and thrilling.
Like racing.
I really hope i'll do well! I think i'll be really sad if i don't get 7 for art honestly. So anyway i'm pretty bored so that's why i'm blogging now. Ohwell! no one around and stuck at the corner of the canteen. Haha i can't wait for the interview actually.
Anyway the day before yesterday, i took a nap at 6 p.m. and woke up at 6 a.m. Went looking for dinner but realised it was 6 a.m. in the morning when my sis walked in with her school uniform on.
Okay random.
I wanted to post panorama's about the art room but apparently Flickr can't be bypassed with proxys so its quite fail. Shall do it at home then!
Okay i've ran out of stuff to say and some random year 5's have crashed the table.
I shall just listen to my music to get in the mood X) If all goes well i might sing
Thursday, September 24, 2009
And we'll all float on okay And we'll all float on okay And we'll all float on okay And we'll all float on anyway
Once again, i miss the trip and competition at moscow. Spamming art and having sleepless nights reminds me of the transit times at Dubai where a few days seem like a really long neverending day because of the strange hours and lack of sleep.
Okay a quick one now. I wanted to do a proper write up but its crunch time now D: Here's the 'home' and workplace. and gallery. except it doesn't look like one now. damn messy haha.
I hate bloggers new picture system. anyway back to my brunch and work. too lazy to name whose place is whose now. click and figure!
Brian loves drawing but once in a while, has an affair with phototaking. He also loves coffee and doesn't mind a treat if you enjoy his works. Oh fish is pretty awesome too. Brian is also quite hyperactive and hates being cooped up at home. He loves sprint kayaking as well. This is all quite random, but yes it does happen quite a bit sometimes when he thinks too much.
