Its Been 2 Days,

Since you left. But you'll be back next week so awesome X)

And 5 seems to be awfully huge. Hope you had fun!

And I can't seem to find a picture to describe today, 2 days ago
Ohwell :)
I hope you're looking here!
Anyway! Today was the first training in 5 days and apparently it was a last minute decision because there was no physics remedial. I have to say 5 days off is pretty harsh on the balance but ohwell. A break is a break X)

Note to self:
Study maths
Do something about your physics
Take more pictures
Stop daydreaming of you X)

Actually don't, it could give you ideas for art too. My creative juices have ran dry (Oh nos)
How stressful. Miss you!
Buffet tomorrow!

And I don't want to miss a thing
Not anymore

What a feeling in my soul,

Breathe In For Luck, Breathe In So Deep

Drama FOA was a good night!
So are you looking here?
Weather was nice, the plays were pretty good (other than the second one. Haha)
Haha
But you were best, hands down X)
Definitely
This air is blessed, you share with me

Yeah, I do keep the ticket stubs haha X)

I Shall Not Waste My Vulgarities On Anyone Of You

To you, teacher, you don't go tell my mom i didn't bother to attend remedial when i told you in your face i can't go because i have tuition. IN YOUR FACE.

To you, my other teacher, i know you think i don't care about my maths, but i practiced my maths before my exams, and i am gonna make you eat your words.

To you, can you just listen to me for once, and let me speak.

And lastly to you, don't tell me to watch my mouth when you yourself don't even watch yours when you talk to me sometimes. Frustration is a really lame excuse. Try being a role model, please.

I try, but you people don't bother. You have no idea how much i hold back while typing this.

Boat, Buoy And Beauty

Rewind to yesterday;

RIght, NCC is over! Which marks the end of this year's canoeing season (Well mostly the end) and the beginning of next year's (Sorry but i tend to look to far ahead sometimes). Hah.

Anyway, fun day, though we got 2nd for K4 200m, it was entertaining enough. Biscuits haha. Then we had our phototaking sessions (I won't call it camwhoring since being soaked in sweat and Macritchie doesn't make you any close to being a whore. Kidding.) which leaves me 1.3 gigs or so lesser in com space with (Oh nos) 7 gigs or so left of com memory. Anyway, had prata for dinner and coffee afterwards before heading home. Quite alot actually, but more chocolate

Nervous night X)
Good call, bad call?
I'm guessing good, but honestly i'm nervous, hah.

Roadworks

Oh no, i got to see Miss Chock about maths results. Apparently they are gonna try get me to drop HL maths, but i'm gonna try keep it. A challenge! Lol. Besides i don't fancy HL english. Takes the fun out of the subject when it gets too important.

130 comes around too fast sometimes, i swear. I'm not gonna complain the next time it arrives slow. And your hair is fine X)

It's A Promise

i don't care if shes perfect or whatever crap, but you're still first to me.
And I don't want to lose you again.

An Old Promise

Ah nationals are over. And my voice is quite screwed. Not bad this year. Though had a major freakout for one of my races.

What helped me throughout a pretty long yesterday was an sms from my cell group leader (Although i haven't been going for cell since the start of this year; just church, so yeah) :

But he said to me,
"My grace is
sufficient for you,
for my power is
made perfect in
weakness"
Therefore I boast all
the more gladly of
my weaknesses, so
that the power of
Christ may rest upon
me...For when I am
weak, then I am
strong. 2 Cor 12:9,
10

I got it in the morning, when i was thinking about how the hell am i going to go through a k2 1000m race and k1 500m race, and you could say perfect timing. I pretty much doubted any hopes of aiming for a 6 years gold attempt, with the day before feeling absolutely horrible. But, yeah, perfect timing. And of course prayers at the starting line were especially calming.

One more year to go.

~~~
Other than that, there was this freaking awesome hugeass rainbow, (Sorry for the excitement, I hardly see such huge rainbows when it rains at Macritchie. I mainly see people scrambling for cover and a whole blanket of rain white out the view of Macritchie) during the semi's if i was not wrong.

Finals day was pretty much scary and kinda sad at times. But ohwell. Well did have fun in the end. Fun, lol. (some running around and carrying of people and fan clubs for some and whats not.) And after the finals we went for fish head curry and lan before talking random in front of cathay.

Oh yes results. I totally forgot about it.

I passed physics. Awesome.

I resound Joseph's "YEAH I PASSED GP!" with much enthusiasm, with physics

Making Ripples

And so, i play this weird/interesting/amusing psychological game in my head before races, as some form of entertainment or stress relief.

Basically, I find every possible way to screw my race up.

So, I tell myself,

"Your stroke is wrong"
"Your sprinting is messed"
"Your boat is a miraculous floating epoxy junk" ( I agree, actually)
"Your race is the hardest"

It did happen last year. My boat flew off the rack, (A spectacular sight indeed) and landed flat on the ground, and there was a huge gash on its @$$ and it kinda cracked open. Like a tuna can. Well that day, i admit, i was freaked. The next day, i was calm. First thing on my mind was: "Its pretty cool racing in a boat patched with duct tape. Sounds fun enough." (In the end it got a crappy fix up, which was just smacked on to hold it together and an @$$ job. But I still like it. Looks nice. She's got character. Lol)

Amazingly, its this kind of things that make me stress free. It gives me the feeling of Damn-This-Is-So-Rock-Bottom-It-Can't-Get-Worse. When you're rock bottom, any idiot can tell you the only way out is pretty much up. As a result, there's this awesome feeling of nothing can go wrong because everything has gone wrong.

And so, I push myself, harder than ever; Because if i fail badly and fall back into the pits of Rock Bottom, well at least its a familiar place. If i don't, good then. Bonus. I'm amused knowing i beat my opponents when my head says i can't.

In a way, it reminds me of confession. Sometimes confession to God about what on earth bugs you all day, stresses you to no end, what you can't do, what you failed at, how bad a Christian you are sometimes. It can do wonders. First step to solving your problems is admitting you're messed. Second step is trusting God to be around to help you change. And most importantly trust Him without doubt. Its hard, but nothing is easy.

So tomorrow (And the day after and till i decide i've had enough of pulling water in a junk of boat), I'm going out there in the middle of algae green Macritchie, and race,

Not worrying about my opponents, the wind, the water, whatever is wrong with me,

But rather looking forward to whatever amusing results may come, and trusting God that its the best way ever.

If I don't deliver results, awesome, I'm no longer a favourite! I got no pressure the next time i race!

Sometimes i don't know if i'm a pessimist or optimist, and sometimes i think i kinda blurred the boundaries between both. Hah

...T THAN MEETS THE EYE?

Yupp. Picture for a title. This one says 4 words 1 letter and a funny ? (Well for the title only. I don't think i'm interested in the "University professor Zin Chung-Pin... recalled...Taipei's envoy..." whatever thats there. Besides the rest of the article probably got turned into mush by the rain before being absorbed by our little green friends there.)

Looks like some pictures don't speak a thousand words. Heh.

I found this amusing piece of page-21-TODAY-newspaper-leftovers in a patch of grass near a pavement on the way home. More than meets the eye.

Awesome, I can't for buffet or whatever on Friday. And competition tomorrow.

Trust God, trust God. More important than all that training.

Kite Dreams (High Flyer)

Today i realised the consequences of sleeping late at about 1 a.m (very early morning) for about 4 days in a row and waking up at 6 a.m. Apparently i finally realised my body was screaming "MORE REST MORE REST" when i actually fell asleep in front of the canoeing shed. And I thought the drowsiness in the afternoon was because of staring at the 5 colour riot of notes on the com screen for too long while playing frets on fire (Yes, guitar hero clone. Lol).

I credit this random post to lack of sleep. (I need tea. And coffee.)

~~~

Right, canoeing competition next week, (I don't believe it, i actually forgot the date till last week.) And i think results too. Wow, i predict my stress levels would be increased tenfold, perfect. I hope i do well for both though. And maybe win championship for A, B, C div. Oh heck, thats for next week to worry about (Another 12 hours or so.)

~~~

Fly higher, float further;

Fall harder.

But always catch the next breath of wind.

'Oh they build buildings
So tall these days'

It's A Fine Line Between Clumsy Flight And Graceful Fall

And suddenly I find myself stuck in between.

So is there any difference between uncertainty and doubt?

Oh I really don't know actually. Indecisive or unsure?

(No, you just think too much)

Space For Some Company

I sat me down beside myself
To figure out everything i was never sure about,
Only to realise i forgot to pray,
Whenever the worries in my head bothered me too much.

RIght, officially the first day of school today, and what a start, a 3 hour plus free period thanks to an AWOL maths teacher and TWO super long maths periods and the break in between. Nice. And apparently the effects of watching Juno late yesterday night till 2 a.m are starting to kick in; mainly yawning during training and how it feels as though i'm spacing out constantly and the world seems to be drifting around... zZz

(I freaking forgot about my camera's transfer cable and left it in school! Thanks for keeping it though Mari. Forgetting such things can give me panic attacks. Hah)

Space For Some Company

I sat me down beside myself
To figure out everything i was never sure about,
Only to realise i forgot to pray,
Whenever the worries in my head bothered me too much.

RIght, officially the first day of school today, and what a start, a 3 hour plus free period thanks to an AWOL maths teacher and TWO super long maths periods and the break in between. Nice. And apparently the effects of watching Juno late yesterday night till 2 a.m are starting to kick in; mainly yawning during training and how it feels as though i'm spacing out constantly and the world seems to be drifting around... zZz

(I freaking forgot about my camera's transfer cable and left it in school! Thanks for keeping it though Mari. Forgetting such things can give me panic attacks. Hah)